What Happens During The War Stays In the War (CLEAN VERSION)
by lover-of-potions
Summary: Lily thought her life was perfect, that was until Severus appeared. Did she make a mistake marrying James? Why did Severus become Hogwarts potion master? And why was the dark lord so concerned about her baby? This story follows the life of Severus and Lily after graduation during the first wizard war. / I have a 2nd version of this story published only with smut.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, so I originally wrote the smutty story of What Happens During The War Stays In The War, but realized that perhaps not everyone would like to read detailed smut, so i decided to also a publish a more clean version.**

Although this story doesn't go into vivid detail, there is still sexual references. So that's a WARNING.

**If you want the other version of the story, it's on my profile. But I hope you enjoy and I love reviews :) Thank you.  
**

* * *

Whether you are magical, muggle or anything in between, graduation means one thing: Freedom. And for Lily and Severus, this freedom meant two different things. For Lily, this meant a new flat with James, Remus and Sirius, finding a job in London and joining the order. For Severus, it was his opportunity to get away from this hell-hole they call school and to join the death eaters.

Graduation at Hogwarts was really not much different than that of a muggle school. It was held in the courtyard, decorated with all four house colours. It happened after all the other years left. Awards were distributed and each student was given the opportunity to walk across the stage to accept their diploma while they shook the hand of Albus Dumbledore. And then at the end everyone threw their hats in the air while a flurry of owls flew overhead. Some students went home that night with their parents while others waited the next day to take the train. Severus was one of those students.

"You must be pretty proud of yourself Severus. Winning an award like that." snickered Crabbe, clearly making fun of him while they sat around the common room. Severus Snape had won the award for top marks in potion's class along with another girl in Ravenclaw.

"You're just jealous" Nott stood up for Snape, "because your highest mark was a P for POOR just like your face."

"That doesn't even make sense" Yaxley laughed and slapped one knee.

Severus wasn't even paying attention at this point. In reality, he wished he had the common room to himself so he could lose himself in thought. Tonight was the night. One more test for the rest of this life, but probably the hardest.

"What do you think it's going to be?" Goyle was now talking. Severus's attention snapped back to them.

"I heard we have to sacrifice a virgin!" Crabbe said excitedly.

"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard" Lucius exclaimed, all their attention shifting to him now as he wandered around the room picking things up, looking bored, and putting them back down. Lucius had already graduated from Hogwarts two years ago and was now working at the Ministry. He, like Crabbe and Goyle decided to apply as a death eater later in life which wasn't completely uncommon. But although he would never admit it, he was rather nervous too. "What do you think Severus?"

"It doesn't really matter, does it. I mean, it's not like we could ever guess it, and even if we do, we won't know until tonight." Severus replied.

Everyone went silent at this point and sat around the common room lost in thought. Time felt like it wasn't moving and he had to wonder whether the waiting was the worst part of the test. Although, as they all walked across the lawn and into the forbidden forest, Severus took back that thought. THIS was the worst part thus far.

As the trees grew closer together, the moon light began to fade. They all stopped in the clearing with their wands raised in the air. The only light was now emanating from the tips of their wands and the only sound was that of bullfrogs and crickets that crept out in the beginning of summer.

_So you want to be a death eater. _A voice hissed through the trees, but no one could see anything or anyone. _But do you have what it takes? Lucius Malfoy, please step forward._

Everyone froze as they watched him step into the bush and was engulfed by the darkness. Nothing happened for the next 15 or maybe it was 20 minutes but then there was a flash of light and intense screaming. They weren't sure if he was killed or had passed the test. Either way, each one was called one on one and the same thing happened every time. It was Severus's turn…

Taking a deep breath in, he cleared his mind and walked into the darkness. At first he couldn't see anything, not even the trees but then Lord Voldemort appeared with a mask figure at his side.

"To_ your knees boy_." He hissed at him and Severus dropped like a sack of potatoes, wand still in hand. "_Do you promise to always obey me no matter what_?"

"Yes my lord"

"_Do you promise to sacrifice your life to me for the greater good_?"

"Yes my lord"

"_And do you Severus Snape, promise to never betray me?_"

"Yes my lord"

"_Very good. Now drink this_." And he handed him a small vial. Severus studied it at first. The liquid was black but watery. "Nachtserum" he whispered.

"_Very good. Now drink it_." The dark lord was impressed but also getting impatient. He hoped this one made it.

Closing his eyes, he took it back in one gulp and then he was transplanted somewhere else. Nachtserum was liquid nightmare, and it made your worst dream come true but only in your head. It was said that some people never recovered or killed themselves during the dose. But like any nightmare, what felt like hours was actually only minutes.

Severus wasn't sure what he was going to see. There wasn't much in his life that really scared him but before he had much time to think Lily was standing before him.

"How could you Sev!" she started crying. At first he was confused but then she continued to cry harder.

"I'm sorry!" he pleaded eventually wanting her to stop and tried to reach for her but she was always just slightly out of reach.

"You're nothing but.. but a freak!" she screamed at him and he cringed. "You'll always be alone! I could never love someone like you, Snivelus."

He tried to bargain with her but before he could say anything more, a figure clothed in a long black robe and hooded face appeared and raised his wand. "This is all your fault!" was the last thing she said before the figure raised his wand.

"Crucio!" and red light shot from his wand and hit Lily in the back.

Severus tried to help her but couldn't move. He tried to yell for help but nothing would come out of his mouth. She was screaming and her eyes were starring at him, begging for it to stop, as if he was holding the wand that was torturing her. But as he tried to fight his way towards her, something was pulling him back into the darkness and the last thing he saw was a flash of green light and the screaming stopped but her eyes were like full moons in the darkness as her body laid lifeless on the ground.

"NOOOOO!" he screamed and woke up. It was over. His heart was pounding and he was covered in sweat as he laid on the forest floor. It was so real…

"_You passed the test" _the dark lord smiled and gave his hand to help him stand. Severus was still in shock but accepted the cold, gangly hand. "_I was hoping you would make it." _

And with that, the dark lord pointed his wand at his wrist and there was that bright light again and now Severus was screaming for real. It was as if someone was trying to rip his skin off from the bone. But just as he thought he couldn't take it anymore, it stopped and he looked down and there it was. The Dark Mark.

* * *

After graduation Lily returned home with her parents, James Potter and his parents. He was very adamant about making their parents meet, and this was the best time. They had arranged for a port key to be ready, but when they appeared in the backyard, it was…. Different. The grass had been replaced with a field of wild flowers and the house was decorated with wreaths of garland and what appeared to be fairy lights to muggle eyes but in reality were actually fairies. Over the backdoor was a sign that read "Congratulations". He lead her to an arch way made of birch and lilies. She was so surprised she had to cover her open mouth with her hand as she looked around.

"This is so beautiful. Thank you" she said, not really sure who was responsible but when she turned around to look at James, he was on one knee.

"Lily. I know we have only been together for two years, but I can't imagine being with anyone else" he said and opened a box containing a diamond ring. He didn't mention the fact that there was a war coming and there might not be any other opportunity.

At first she didn't know what to say and looked around at all her family and friends who apparently were also in on this. Her eyes began to fill with tears and she looked back at James. "Of course I will marry you James Potter" she smiled and in a big hug he spun her around as he kissed her. After she put on the ring, everyone began to cheer and walked inside for food and drinks. That was one of the happiest nights of her life and she slept peacefully in her childhood bed which she charmed to make bigger to fit James.

The next day though, she packed up all her stuff and waved good bye to her parents as they apparated to their new place. Sirius and Remus were already there. They thought it would be best if they all shared an apartment since they were all newly graduated and had no jobs.

"What the honeymoon is already over?" Sirius joked as he opened the door to let them in. The place was furnished and covered with charms to hide it away from muggles and intruders.

"Yah yah" James pushed past him to get all her stuff in. She looked out the window and they were surrounded by shops and cafes and only a few blocks away from diagon alley.

"When's the first meeting?" James asked.

"Tonight." Remus said, as he stepped out of his room. He was starting to look tired and older as the full moon approached. "Apparently" he continued "Dumbledore wants to have it here."

"Does that mean we have to clean?" Sirius looked around concerned, as if that was their biggest problem. There was boxes, dirty dishes, socks, candy wrappers, garbage, and bottles scattered around the place. It was actually quite impressive since they've only had it one night.

As Lily and James unpacked and Remus and Sirius cleaned, time passed quickly and next thing they knew people were flooing through their fireplace and knocking at their door. Everyone sat around the livingroom on the mix matched furniture. It was actually a comical sight. Dumbledore was the first to talk as he sat on what appeared to be a muggle beach chair.

"First off. Lets welcome our new members: Lily Evans, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and thank them for their lovely hospitality" As they all applauded Lily looked around and could recognize a lot of faces. "Now onto real business, as we all know…."

As Dumbledore continued to talk, she leaned over to a red headed witch who was a year older than her and was known as Molly. "Is that it? Is there no test?" she whispered, feeling stupid for worrying the whole day.

The red headed witch looked at her and smiled. "No of course not lovey, who do you think we are? Death Eaters?" she giggled and then went back to listening.


	2. Chapter 2

Lily and James decided to have a small wedding and didn't wait long to plan it. He who must not be named was gathering followers quickly, both wizards and creatures so they knew they wouldn't have much time. Molly Weasley had actually helped her plan most of the wedding that was to be held in her backyard. She had already been married to Arthur for a year and quickly became her maid of honour. Alice Longbottom and Emeline Vance were her two bridesmaids who she had quickly gotten to know over the last few weeks while working for the Order. It was no surprise to hear that James chose Sirius as his best man and Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin as grooms men.

The wedding came together nicely. Lily was sitting in one of the many rooms of the Weasley family's home. She was surprised to find such a big house for just two people. Slipping on her simple elegant dress with a bit of sparkly embroidery around the bodice and hemline, Alice tied up the back with the silk strings that crossed over her back and she slipped on matching white gloves that went up to her elbows. Her hair was done up in curls and pulled up off of her neck because it was going to be a warm summer day. She looked out the window as people began to appear and took a seat on the white folding chairs along the aisle.

"Nervous yet?" Molly asked, ecstatic. "I know I was so nervous on my wedding day that I was convinced I was going to vomit down the aisle" she laughed "but then I saw my Arthur and all my worries disappeared. Although, the elven moonshine played a small part too." She whispered the last part and handed Lily a small glass full of clear liquid.

"Thank you." She smiled and took it down. It warmed her innards all the way, but she could already feel it loosening some of the knots in her stomach and chest. There wasn't enough to do any real damage though.

But before she knew it, she could hear the wedding march and was linking arms with her elderly father who was to walk her down the aisle.

"_You know, I am feeling rather bored." _Lord Voldemort stated as he sat in a large throne like chair at the Malfoy Manor. "_Someone entertain me. What is going on in the wizarding world?"_ he said as Nagini began to wrap around his neck. All the death eaters were standing around, ready to serve him.

Severus had quickly worked his way up the ranks. He was smart, young and willing. He became the dark lord's official potion master and even began to create his own spells.

"I heard that James Potter was marrying that pathetic excuse of a mudblood this afternoon" Lucius piped up, hoping to please the dark lord.

"_HHmmmm"_ was all Voldemort said at first and Lucius prepared himself to be cursed but instead he turned to Severus.

Severus felt like he lost all the wind in his lungs. Lily was marrying James Potter! He could feel his top lip twitching as if it wanted to become a sneer and his eyes grew dark. You could almost feel the anger and dark magic radiate off of him.

"_Severus, how is that spell of yours coming along? What's it called again? The one that nearly slices someone in half. "_ he asked nonchalantly, as if they were trying to figure out dinner.

"Secumsepra." He replied, trying to hide all the anger inside him.

"_Yesss that's the one!" _ he exclaimed as cheerfully as lord Voldemort could get. "_I think this wedding would be the perfect place to try it out." _And a grin spread across his evil face to reveal his sharp teeth. "_COME!" _he demanded to them all and they followed him out as Bellatrix chanted "We're gonna kill mudbloods, we're gonna kill mudbloods" while bouncing up and down.

Snape had seen a lot of horrible things, but the thought of seeing Lily on her wedding day was probably going to be the worse.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife in the name of the ministry of magic" and they kissed under the same archway James proposed to her.

Food began to magically fill tables along with fountains of champagne and drinks. It was a joyous event amongst dark times. But just as quickly as the sun reached the centre of the sky, dark clouds rolled in.

"I didn't know they were calling for rain?" Lily looked into James eyes as he still held her. But before he could answer, bolts of lighting began to shoot out as if Zeus himself was trying to hit them and then it happened.

Black figures with silvery masks appeared in large puffs of smoke that matched the clouds and formed a circle around the party. People began screaming and then chaos ensued. James let go of Lily to grab his wand to fight.

Tables began to flip over and colourful spells were whooshing around the air. Lily tried to grab her wand that was tucked away in her bosom but people were shoving and spells were blurring past her. As she tried to get out of the way, she began to trip on her dress and stumbled on the grass. She quickly kicked off her shoes and grabbed her wand, but a red spell just barely braised her cheek and she could feel the cut forming and blood dripping down her face. She touched her fingers to her cheek and red blotches stained the tips of her glove. This was not how it was suppose to be.

Lily attempted to shoot disarming spells but most of the time she felt like she was defending herself. In the background she could hear Bellatrix's high pitched voice scream, "Kill the mudblood! Kill her!" and realized she was pointing at her.

Panicking, she didn't know what to do. The dress was prohibiting her to run properly and more death eaters began to rush towards her. This was it, she thought, she was going to die on her own wedding day. The blood from her cheek was beginning to drip onto her white dress and in a last attempt to live, she picked up the front of her dress with one hand and booked it. In the haze of all the commotion though, she didn't realize she ran right into the back of someone full force. As he turned around all she could see was his mask and the tent being set on fire in the background. As he raised his wand at her, a small flash blinded her eyes and everything went black.

She awoke on the ground, and all she could see was trees and grass. Was she dead? Her body felt heavy, but nothing really hurt. Pushing herself up, she looked around. This can't be heaven, she thought. As she turned her head to the right, there was someone crouching near to her and she screamed.

"SSHHHHHHH" he whispered, wanting to cover her mouth with his hand but not wanting to frighten her more. "I'm not going to hurt you." He growled and hoped she'd calm down. They were the only ones in the forest just a few miles from the Weasley's residence.

"Sev?" she croaked. He wasn't wearing his mask anymore, just his cloak. "What? Where? Why?" she didn't even know where to begin.

She could tell he also looked distressed and rang his fingers through his long dark hair. She always liked his hair. "Look. It happened like this. I was duelling and then the next thing I knew someone ran into me and when I realized it was _you_, I cursed you to pass out so that it appeared you were dead and I brought you here." He explained, trying to sum it up as best as he could.

"You saved my life?" She said astonished. This was the first time she had spoke to him since that incident in fifth year. She was pretty sure he hated her. She knew he hated James and didn't blame him.

"It's not like that." He said standing up and looking away. It was a combination of modesty and embarrassment.

"Sev. I don't know what to say. Thank you!" His heart fluttered a little when she used his old nickname but he quickly swallowed that feeling.

"It was nothing." He blurted out still staring at a tree. "The house is only a few miles away, you can easily apparate there." He assumed that she would want to return to her husband as quickly as possible and his hands balled up in tight fists. But instead he felt her hand land on his shoulder and he nearly jumped.

"Sev. Look at me" she said and he slowly turned around. She examined him. His robes. His face. He looked the same only a little more older and even more mature. She looked just as beautiful as ever in his eyes, even though her curls were now wild and her dress was stained. It didn't matter to him, nothing did.

"I'm sorry Sev. I am sorry for everything." She pleaded to him. She always wanted to say these things, but after she found out that he wanted to be a death eater, she decided not to but always regretted it. "I should have accepted your apologies and I should have been your friend. I know you didn't mean what you said." Her eyes looked desperate.

"That's a long time ago. I forgot about it." But in reality, he did not, and she assumed he was lying although she was no legitimens.

"Well I am still sorry, and if it's not to late, I wouldn't mind still being… friends." She didn't know if it sounded as ridiculous as she thought it did.

"I'm a death eater Lily." He replied.

"Yes I know, but still, I mean, you saved my life. That has to mean something. And. I know deep down inside. The old you is still in there, somewhere." She was having a hard time explaining herself and gave a small smile. "Plus, you kinda helped ruined my wedding so I think you owe me something." Now she was really smiling and gave him a small nudge like she had during the school days. It was always his weakness.

"Well, I can try my best." He offered and gave a shrug, not really sure how this was going to work. She giggled.

"Alright, well it's a start. I like to spend a lot of time in the London Public Library, or sometimes you can find me drinking Tea at Miss Tilly's Tea Room near Diagon Alley." She hinted and winked, realizing she couldn't give him her actual address. He nodded understanding.

"Well it was nice seeing you again." She said quietly, and leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. He froze and stiffened as if he had been hit with a petrificus totalus curse. She didn't know why she did it, but it felt right.

As she pulled away, she could see a small smile forming across his lips, his eyes fixed on one spot.

"Wha..." but she as she looked over her shoulder, she knew why. It was her husband, James, the self-centred, egotistic, bloody Potter, staring at them in horror.

"James!" she shouted, not sure if she should be happy or petrified but as he rose his wand to point at it at Snape, he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

James stood there frozen and slowly lowered his wand. "I thought you were dead." He said, not looking at her but where Snape had been formerly standing. Where she kissed him on the cheek. He didn't know what else to say, but his eyes were beginning to swell up as the adrenaline began to disappear.

"James" she said running to him and putting both her hands on his chest, forcing him to look at her. "He saved me James!" she tried to explain, not even really sure if he could hear.

"And what?!" he spat, stepping away from her. "That's suppose to make up for the fact he became a death eater? That he kills innocent people! And that he ruined our wedding!" Each sentence grew in volume. "You haven't talked to him in over 4 years and now what, you want to be friends or something?!" He almost looked like he was about to go mad and his whole body shook.

"No. I guess not" she sighed, perhaps he really was right. Lily had always been a dreamer and imagined that for every bad side there was a good. But with a war approaching, maybe she would have to be more realistic.

* * *

Since that day, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't forget. Everything would bring up small memories of him. A potions book in the book store, the smell of peppermint or the quills he would always use. And although she could try to push him out of her mind during the day, she had no control over her thoughts at night.

Every night he would come to her in her dreams. Sometimes he would just be there, other times they were laying on the grass again as children. On one occasion he even kissed her! And she woke up suddenly, laying next to James.

_These have to stop, it's been three weeks, _she thought to herself as she turned over and tried to fall back asleep. It didn't help that she couldn't find a single job yet that didn't involve the lines "Would you like pumpkin juice with that?" and some reason she was placed on paper work duty for the Order which gave her to much time to think. Plus, to top it all off, her relationship with James had been extremely strained. Lily found it hard to be… intimate… with James if all she could think about was Severus.

* * *

The next day, Lily decided to give her mom a surprise visit. They hadn't really talked much since the wedding but when she arrived, they were not home. Sighing, Lily really wished she had someone she could talk to about this whole situation who wouldn't judge her or look horrified. Instead she decided to go for a stroll to pass the time.

She walked through the park her and Sev spent a lot of time in during the summer. It really hadn't changed much. Before she knew it though she was walking along the sidewalk to Spinner's End where she saw Severus's old house. She knew that his father had left and his mother passed away, but she didn't know who lived there now. But, as she continued to walk closer, on the opposite side of the street, figures began to emerge.

"I will see you next week then…" a man stepped out of the door with long blonde hair and a cane. He didn't take long to identify: Lucius Malfoy.

_Merlin's Beard! _She swore in her head and ran for the nearest bush, tripping over a recycling bin on the way. It made a lovely scraping noise against the cement as she fell into the garden. It would have looked ridiculous if she wasn't fleeing for her life.

_Shrubbery Really! _She smacked herself mentally but there was nothing else around. She would of apparated but the small _pop_ would of given it away. Not that the recycling bin didn't but that really wasn't part of the plan.

Both the blonde wizard and the dark haired one who happened to be Severus himself looked over with wands raised. He could have sworn he had seen a flash of red hair but made up a lie quickly.

"Raccoons" he explained. "They get rather big around here." Hoping Lucius hadn't seen anything.

"I don't know how you do it Severus. Living in this … environment." And with that he poofed right off his front lawn. There must be some sort of protection so as to not alarm muggles.

Lily let out her breathe, and thought she was off the hook until she felt her whole body tighten as magical ropes were being wrapped around her. Looking through the branches she could see a pair of black boots on the other side of the bush and felt her body being dragged out across the dirt, taking a few flowers with it. How did he do that? But she didn't have much time to think.

"I could have sworn it was you." He said through clenched teeth, angry at her stupidity. "Do you know how dangerous it is here. What if someone saw you? What if there were more of us?" He was trying to keep his voice down to not attract attention. It was starting to get dark though and the street lights were coming on.

"I..didn't..know… you… still.. lived.. here" she replied trying to struggle against the ropes. She couldn't even reach into her pocket to get her wand out.

"Clearly." He replied and let her go. "Come with me" He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her into his home as if she was a small child being reprimanded.

Lily Evans had never really seen the inside of Severus Snape's home before, even as children, despite the fact they lived near by. The entrance stepped right into what appeared to be a shell of a living room, only now it was dark, and the walls were covered in bookshelves holding books and jars full of strange ingredients. There was very minimal furniture but before she could really take anything in, and her eyes adjusted to the dark, a wooden chair flew into the back of her legs, forcing her to sit and the door slammed shut. So many wards went up around the house that you could feel the layers of protection in the walls.

"This is a very… unique.. place you have here." She said, not really sure what word to call it. It wasn't exactly… nice.

"Don't try to flatter me." He said in a serious tone and placed a sticking charm to Lily so she couldn't get off the chair.

"Do you think that is really necessary?" she asked squirming but rather than answering, Severus whipped out another chair that faced her and he sat upon it, legs straddling the back rest.

"Who sent you?" he quizzed, raising his wand up to shine light on her face. "Why are you here?"

"Can you stop that?" she asked trying to shield her eyes. "No one." She answered. "I was just visiting my mom but no one was home so I went for a walk."

He lowered his wand and flicked some candles on to create a soft glow. "Who knows you're here?" he asked, still not done with the questions.

"No one." She said confused, not really sure if that was a trick question.

With his free hand, he pinched the bridge of his nose. No one knew she was here? Where was her bloody husband, wasn't he suppose to be protecting her? Or their beloved Dumbledore? Instead she is just wandering the streets, clearly unaware. He even wondered if she knew how to defend herself.

"Oh wait, I mean loads of people." She waved her hand, pretending to act as cool as a cucumber, although she was starting to get a little nervous. "Uh, there is.. Sirius, and Remus and.." and she began to name off names he already knew while counting on her fingers. But as she ran out of names, she looked around some more and noticed what looked to be bright shinning torture instruments, hung in different places. In reality, they were meant for making potion ingredients but still created a threatening effect.

"And you expect me to believe that?" he asked rhetorically. He thought about doing legilimens on her but the story was rather convincing and he didn't want her to hate him completely. He started to pace the room and then sat back down, but then started to pace some more, and sat again. He didn't know what to do.

"Sev." She interrupted his inner thoughts. "I am really sorry. Again." She said, realizing she put them both in danger. "And if you let me go, I promise I won't tell anyone." She suggested meekly.

He was getting frustrated. How could she be so innocent? He grabbed her chin with one hand and forced her to look at him. Their noses were a mere inch apart. "And what about when Dumbledore reads your mind? HHmmmm? Then what?" he asked in a dangerously low tone. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her lips. Although she was intimidated and her heart was beating faster, she couldn't help realizing that he smelt of sandalwood and parchment.

She wasn't entirely sure if he wanted her to answer but there was an awkward pause, "I.. don't.. know? Lie?" she shrugged.

"Oh because you are so good at that." He said. If it wasn't for all the practice he had hiding his own emotions, a small smirk would of broke across his lips. He was trying to teach her a lesson though.

"Well I don't know! This isn't my fault!" she was starting to get angry now and annoyed her bum was still stuck to the chair. She tried to shake his hand off of her face but his grip grew stronger keeping it in place. Instead she went for her wand but that quickly changed when he casually flicked it out of her hand with his own wand, not even having to say a word.

"No!?" he shouted, "Not you're fault?!"

He let go of her face and placed both hands on either arm rests of her chair. "Than who's is it? Were you imperiused to walk here? Or maybe the nargals told you to do it?" His eyes narrowed. "Because, according to you, the order didn't send you."

"Well of course not." She partially shouted back. They were both almost yelling in each others faces now, and Lily realized after it was probably not smart to get into a yelling match with a Death Eater. But this wasn't any Death Eater. It was Sev.

He knew she wasn't entirely intimidated. Most of the people he brought back to his house against their will were either crying or begging to leave at this point.

"Lily." He said, his eyes softening ever so slightly. "Do you even realize how dangerous it is for you to be wandering the streets alone? Even in your own neighbourhood?" he asked.

"I'm a full grown witch." She replied, no longer shouting but still offended. "I'm pretty sure I can take…" but before she could finish, he flicked his wand and she flew off the chair and was being held up against a wall between two book shelves. Her hands tied above her head.

"You can take care of yourself huh?!" he stood up and his chair toppled over as he walked towards her. "What if I was another death eater Lily?" The tip of his wand began to glow red as he pointed it at her chest. "Do you think you would still be alive?"

This time she didn't answer. But as she stared at him, both embarrassed and completely vulnerable, she could see his eyes glaze over as he kicked into death eater mode. She could not tell anymore whether he was joking or fully intended to torture her.

"I said I was sorry." She said softly. She could feel her eyes burn as they began to fill with water. _I won't cry_, she said to herself, _Not in front of him like this. I must be strong._ But it was hard. "I..I.. didn't know." Was all she could come up with, not really sure what to do next.

He lifted his wand higher and slightly parted his lips as he was about to summon the spell and she gasped. Shutting her eyes quickly, two tears rolled down her cheeks. She waited, but nothing happened. Instead she felt a soft finger press against her cheek to stop the tear.

As she slowly opened her eyes again, she noticed he was studying it on his index finger. All his features softened again and the death eater face was gone.

"I dreamed a long time that you would come back." He said softly, almost as if he was talking to himself. "But never like this." And he dropped his hand with the tear. "You need to learn to protect yourself Lily. Has the order taught you nothing?" he asked.

"Uh, not really?" she replied awkwardly. She was still pinned to the wall with her hands above her head. "I've been doing paper work mostly.."

"That is ridiculous." he cut her off, "A war is coming. And if you can't protect your own thoughts, you have no chance. Let me teach you occlumency." He suggested, as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

"Occlumency?" she repeated. "First you plan to torture me and now you want to teach me occlumency?"

He sighed. "Lily, I could never _really_ hurt you." He strained the really. "And it will be for your own good." He added while he swooshed his wand and she dropped to the ground. He held out her wand in the palm of his hand as truce. She took it back.

"Alright, lets say I agree. Where would we do this Occlumency?" she asked, placing one hand on her hip.

"Right here." He said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

She didn't know if this was brilliant or completely absurd.

"Please Lily." He nearly begged. He looked almost… desperate. She could feel her heart melting. "You know, I could always keep you here." But now he was actually joking… right?

"Alright Alright." She said, not liking how easily he could convince her.

"Good." He smirked and clapped his hands together. "I'll see you next Tuesday. And if you don't show up, I'll find you and assume the worse."

Lily knew he wasn't lying without needing legilimens.

* * *

Lily eventually returned home, still not sure if she made a huge mistake. Before she could open the door herself, it whipped open.

"Oh thank goodness it's you." James breathed and let her step in. "Apparently they got Paul Pumpkin." He shut the door tightly behind them and put up the wards. She looked confused, who the hell was Paul Pumpkin? And why would anyone ever name their child that?

"You know Paul Pumpkin." James encouraged. "The assistant to the Minister of Magic and the guy who perfected pumpkin juice."

She still didn't totally know who he was but understood the importance of the matter. Lord Voldemort was starting to infiltrate the ministry but before she could think about it some more, Sirius began to laugh.

"I told you no one knew who that bloke was!" He continued to chuckle and throw cards into a bowl with both feet kicked up on the table. Humour was always his defense mechanism.

"Yah I guess eh." James replied, chuckling under his breath as he let some of the tension out. He rang his hands through his hair as he did while at school. Only now instead of doing it to look dashing, he was doing it to keep calm.


	4. Chapter 4

It was Monday night. 24 more hours and she would be letting Severus Snape read her mind.

"Hey flower." James whispered in her ear and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. It was a new pet name he had picked up since they had gotten married, but Lily figured there was probably worse names out there.

She spat out toothpaste and looked up in the mirror at their reflections. Bits of toothpaste were around the corners of her mouth. James was nuzzling his nose in the side of her head.

"You know…" he said, still rubbing his nose on her hair. It smelt intoxicating to him. "We haven't done it.. in weeks." He hinted.

She rolled her eyes. He was how old and couldn't say the word sex? It was true though. They hadn't done it in weeks but she had been busy. And her mind had been very preoccupied. But it was taking a toll on him.

"What do you have in mind?" she asked, trying to stall for a bit more time and rinsed out her mouth. She was wearing pajamas, it was suppose to be bed time.

"You know…" he replied, sounding almost whiney.

"Alright, alright. Just give me a few minutes to get ready and I'll meet you in bed." She caved and he ran off like a kid in a candy shop.

Closing the door behind him, she sighed as she stared at herself in the mirror. _You can do this._ She thought to herself. _He is your husband! _Taking a deep breathe in, she walked out of the bathroom and slipped into bed. It felt almost a little.. awkward. But the awkwardness didn't last long because he jumped on her like a bee to honey.

In the end, Lily was left disappointed and unsatisfied but at least James was sleeping soundlessly. Something he hadn't done in a long time.

* * *

"_Severus, I thought you would never make it._" The dark lord smiled and beckoned him to walk into the room. He was sitting alone (with the exception of Nagini curled up at his feet) in one of the Malfoy's many lounges. He waved towards an antique chair next to him.

Severus walked in silently and took a seat. His face was as blank and dark as the black in his long billowing robes. He waited.

"_I thought I should let you know that I am very pleased with your work Severusss. You have been a very loyal servant to me." _He appraised him, something he would rarely do. _"But I feel asss if we have been growing a little… distant." _he was choosing his words wisely as he stood up and began to walk around Severus's chair. A small hiss escaped Nagini as she looked up to see where her master was going and lowered her head back to the floor again. "Would you agree?" he asked, and stopped behind him. His long fingers began to knead into his black hair.

"I suppose so my lord." He replied, not actually agreeing. He really had no urge to be any closer than he already was, but that wasn't the point, he knew what he meant. He wanted to read his mind. Make sure all was going according to plan.

"_Good…" _he answered and kept his finger tips on his skull as he began to seep into his mind. Contact wasn't actually needed for legilimens but the dark lord liked to make his company uncomfortable.

Severus knew this moment would happen eventually. Voldemort often, if not always, read the minds of his death eaters, but he knew he had to hide the memory of Lily. It wasn't very difficult at first. He let him see what he wanted to see but as he felt the coldness slip deeper into his mind, it was getting more difficult to lock the memory up in the vault of his subconscious. A bead of sweat began to roll down over his temple but then it was over.

"_Yesss… yesss.."_ he murmured to himself and took his frigid fingertips off of his head and went back to his seat. "_You may go." _Severus had passed the test and lived.

_"Oh and Severus." _He said, watching the back of his head as he was about to leave the room. "_Don't forget the mission."_

Severus turned back around to look at his master one last time. "Of course, my lord." And he continued to walk out the room and closed the door behind him. That was close.

* * *

The next morning when Lily woke up, the bed was empty. It had been this way most mornings since the death toll began to rise. Stretching, she wished she could go back to bed but she hadn't slept most of the night. Her nerves were taking over about tonight. Rolling out of bed, she slipped on a pair of shorts, t-shirt and slippers. No one was ever home before 3pm which was when she worked on all the paper work.

Stepping into the kitchen which opened up to the living room, only divided by a small island, she grabbed a cup of tea and began to sip it while she looked over the pile of papers she would have to work on today. It didn't look to bad but as she started to examine them more closely, a bright light filled the room.

"I request an audience with you, Mrs. Potter." It was the voice of Dumbledore, coming out of what appeared to be giant flaming bird that was sent in a patronus form in the middle of her apartment. "The floo network is open." And with that, green and blue flames blazed in their fireplace.

"Uh, ok?" she responded, not really sure if it was a two way system but the bird disappeared. Not having much time, she quickly summoned a robe and stepped in the flames with slippers and all.

"Gah!" she exclaimed as she stepped out of the hearth into what appeared to be Dumbledore's office at Hogwarts. She had never flooed with a drink before, but apparently she brought her tea along for the ride and it exploded everywhere. "I am so sorry about that." She said, trying to get it out of his carpet with her wand despite the fact it was also covering her robes and even possibly the ceiling.

"Oh don't worry about that." He chuckled and swept his wand in a semi circle and everything soaked up and dried. There wasn't even a stain! She had to learn that spell… "I've brought worse through the floo network. Take a seat."

They walked back to his desk and sat on either side. She felt like she was in school again, only she didn't spend as much time in the headmasters office as her husband did.

"I know you must be wondering why I called you here." He stated, clasping his hands together on his desk. As she looked up, there was another 10 pairs of eyes at least, staring at her through the portrait.

"Um, yes?" her eyes went back to his. They were very blue and had a slight twinkle. His smile remained soft and non threatening. Although she felt like she should be guilty for something, and a memory of Severus flashed across her mind and then she panicked. She DID have something to be guilty about.

_Maybe he was reading my thoughts? How would I know? Maybe he was reading them right now! Can't think of Severus, Damn! Uh… Mary had a little bat. Little bat.._

He was trying not to smile more widely as he continued.

"Is there anything you would like to tell me?" he asked, and leaned in a little closer. If she didn't know who he was, she would of thought he was just some nice old man, possibly offering her cookies. "Have a candy." He pushed the jar a little closer to her. She took one and popped it in her mouth.

"I don't think so, sir." She replied. "All the paper work is going well. I am almost done."

"Yes yes" he waved his hand, not worried about that. "I mean something a little more… delicate. How are you enjoying married life?"

"It's good." She shrugged and bit down on her candy.

"I'm sorry to hear about your wedding." He frowned. "I heard you had a few extra guests."

"Yes I guess you could say that." She chuckled.

"I heard that you even ran into an old friend." His eyes began to twinkle more. She swallowed the rest of her candy.

"Yes, I guess you could also.. say that.."

"I always liked him." He got up and began to walk around, almost as if he was talking to himself. "Extremely bright young boy. A very strong mind, only.. misguided. Do you intend to remain friends?"

"Uh, yah, I don't know, it's really up to him, I mean…" she began to chew on her lip. Was he giving her permission to be friends with a death eater? Did she give her secret away that quickly?

"I believe that sometimes the best of friends are the ones worth fighting for." He winked, and the flames shot up from the fire place again. "Remember Lily, no one is a failure who has friends"

She gave a small smile. "Yes professor."

"Please, call me Albus."

And with that, she returned to her apartment. It felt as if a weight had been lifted from her heart. He gave her permission to see him again, but why? Lily officially felt like she had a real role in this war, only, she didn't quite understand it yet.


	5. Chapter 5

Dusk rolled into the peaceful muggle suburbia. She apparated by the trees in the park again and watched as two children, a young boy and girl, ran home. She remembered when life at that age was so simple, although it didn't feel like it at the time.

Straightening out her muggle clothes, she emerged from the trees and stepped into the open field which Severus was already crossing to meet her.

"How did you know I would apparate here?" she asked, as he escorted her back to his place.

"It was a hunch." He shrugged as they kept walking. "Do you have a hood?"

"Yes." She said sounding a little concerned and flipped it up before they entered his neighbourhood. "Should I be worried?" she asked looking to her left and right.

"Only a precautionary." He explained and they walked up the steps to his front porch. Grabbing what appeared to be a ring of over 30 keys, he picked out the right one on the first try and opened the door. "After you Ms. Evans." He motioned with his hand for her to enter first.

"You mean Mrs. Potter" she corrected him and stepped into the dark hallway.

"Yes, that is right." He grumbled under his breathe with a lovely snarl on his face. Luckily she couldn't see him though. "Hang up your coat and take a seat. I'll be back."

She stepped into the livingroom she recognized from the previous week. Rather than sitting on the wooden chair her bum had been plastered to earlier, she decided the old worn out couch would suffice. Plus, it was better to be stuck to a cushion that a wooden chair.

Emerging from the mysterious door he often left through, he came back out with a peppermint tea.

"Here." He jerked the mug towards her.

"Thanks" she took the cup with both hands and began to sip on it. He pulled up a chair and looked her up and down. She was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable, was he going to read her mind now? She had no idea how this worked. Her heart began to flutter and she took a bigger sip of the tea, trying to calm her nerves.

"In order to be successful at legilimens, you have to be able to hide your emotions." He explained. "No matter what the memory is."

"K…" she said, wondering how hard that was going to be.

"The other important thing to know is, no matter what, you have to remember, it is not real. These are just memories that can easily be distorted by either the one doing legilimens or the occlumens. So never panic."

"Right, no panicking." She repeated, trying to take it all in. Although her focus began to wander to his mouth which the words were escaping from and down the black cotton buttons of his robe.

"Everyone has their own way to clear their thoughts. You are just going to have to find yours. Are you ready to try this?" he asked, almost feeling nervous himself, although he didn't know why. He had read many thoughts before; of his victims, and his colleagues. He began to clear a space in the center of the room with magic and stood up to face her.

"Uh, ok." She said, putting down her cup on the coffee table and followed him to the centre. "Do I need my wand?" she asked, feeling completely lost.

"No, that will not be necessary. I assume that if you were ever actually captured by the dark lord, you would probably be disarmed." He explained. "Alright now clear your mind." He reminded her and rolled back the sleeves to his robe. Raising his wand, the last thing she heard was the word "legilimency"

Images of her life began to whip across her sight. It reminded her of going to the movies when she was younger with her parents. At first, extremely interested, she watched them flip by as he riffled in her thoughts.

_Lily, Concentrate. _Snape's voice echoed through her head, and she suddenly remembered she was suppose to be blocking him not encouraging. _Right. Think of emptiness. Nothing. _

But he settled on one memory. They were standing in the backyard of her parents house and her dad was lowering a small box into the ground of the garden. "Would anyone like to say any final words?" her father asked, leaning on the shovel. Her sister was there to, along with her mother. "Smudge. You were a good cat and kept our home mouse free for 10 years. But you have gone to a better place now." Her mothers voice trailed off and with that, her father began to pile the dirt up over the box and patted it down. Looking over at her sister, she had a small frown on her face. Lily could feel the tear drop roll down her own cheek, as her first pet had passed away due to an unfortunate run in with a car. It was so real, as if she was there now. Everyone was so sad. The last thing she saw was her father wrapping an arm around her mother as she pulled out the tissues.

"Lily." Severus's voice cut through the fog now. "Lily, come back to me."

Her whole word began to spin and then gravity kicked in and she could feel her feet firmly planted on the floor. Focusing more now, she realised Severus was holding her up by her elbows and her cheek felt wet. Wiping it away embarrassed, she straightened herself up and he backed away.

"Well, it was a good attempt." He encouraged.

"Don't be silly, I am rubbish." She said frustrated.

"Don't worry about it. I didn't expect you to actually block me on the first try."

That made her feel a little better.

"Let's try something a little less… intense." He suggested and took off his robe now to reveal a black vest with silver buttons covering a black blouse and black trousers. They were simple but elegant.

"Alright." She said, drying off her face with her hand and taking a slow breathe in and out. "I am ready." She said, trying to stand more firm and wiped her sweaty palms off on the side of her pants.

This time they just went back to this morning. She was sipping her tea and looking at paper. Now this was more her speed. The light of the patronus began to fill her memory.

_No._ she said firmly in her mind and pushed them away from the thought but now they were sitting in Dumbledore's office. Although she managed to briefly avoid the memory, they skipped ahead like a record player does when it finds a discrepancy in the vinyl.

"I heard you even ran into an old friend." Dumbledore was repeating back to them.

_I don't think you are suppose to be seeing this! _She yelled at him mentally.

_Hhhmmmm_… was all he replied, that deep, chilled voice echoing through her head.

"Yes, I guess you could also.. say that.."

"I always liked him." Dumbledore replied.

_No no no!_ Lily yelled some more, feeling as if she was failing her one and only mission for the order. She could feel her fists pound against his chest, yet her eyes were still filled with the vision. It was an odd sensation. He probably should have stopped reading her, but now he was curious and how was she ever going to learn. He grabbed her wrists with his hands tightly to stop her from doing any real damage.

"Extremely bright young boy. A very strong mind, only.. misguided."

_Ha!_ He scuffed at this, not able to help him self.

_Stop it!_ She was getting more angry but also more tired. Not knowing what to do, all she could feel was his cold fingers gripping her more tightly around the wrists.

"I believe that sometimes the best of friends are the ones worth fighting for." Dumbledore was echoing between her thoughts and his own.

_I get it._ She said, starting to breathe deeper and her heart pounded faster while she continued to struggle against him but her cardio was running low. _You only wanted me here to get information from me, about the order!_

This stung Severus but he would never admit it.

_Now that is enough, _he said firmly, as if she was a small child throwing a tantrum. He backed her up against a wall and pinned her there with magic. He pinched her chin with his fingers though as he tried to keep her head still, not wanting to lose the memory. _If that was the case, I would of invaded your mind the first day I found you. _It ended quickly after this.

"Remember Lily, no one is a failure who has friends"

She was now completely worn out. She tried so hard to stop it, but it was impossible (in her mind). Her cheeks were a bright pink and pieces of her hair clung to her face.

_Now was that so bad?_ He asked, almost forgetting who he had with him in his living room, and pulled out from her mind.

"That wasn't fair." She scowled, still pinned up against the wall. "Let me go." She demanded feeling slightly violated.

"Only if you promise not to hit me again." He scowled and removed her from the wall. A twinge of guilt flittered across her face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was doing…" she tried to reason with him, feeling rather foolish. "I just wanted to protect the order!" she piped up.

"Ha! The order. As if they even have a chance." He said non-convinced.

"Don't talk like that Sev!" she put her hands on her hips and nearly stomped her foot. "We have to have hope!"

"Hope." He nearly spat out. "That was lost a long time ago Lily. You need to get out of this dream world."

"No." she tried to reason with him and put both her hands around his arms and stared him in the eyes. "It's not Sev. You have to believe me."

And he wanted to. But with all the pain and suffering he had seen in the world and losing the only people in his life that really mattered to him, he couldn't see how.

"I promise you." She nearly whispered, and his mind snapped back to reality. What was he now? Just another puppet in Dumbledore's game? Just a chess piece being moved back and force between the dark lord and dumbledorf himself. He didn't need another master.

"What do you promise me Lily?" he said getting frustrated. His eyes began to darken again, as they did when he lost touch and entered his death eater role. "Happiness? Love?" he asked, and she backed up. He followed her though until her back was pressed up against the same wall again and he was towering over her. "Hhhmmm Lily. What is it?" he spat and stared at her.

"I don't know Sev." She answered barely able to get the words out. More tears were beginning to stain her cheeks.

His fists curled up in tight balls. Why did he always have to be the one to make her cry? He pretty much ruined her wedding, and now he was forced to make her recall all the terrible past events of her life. Why couldn't someone else ever carry this burden?

"I promise…" she began and gently placed both hands flat on his chest, as she looked up at him with watery eyes, but the tears stopped. "I promise you that there is something better for you out there. I don't know what it is, but there is."

_You,_ he answered to himself but knew that was not possible anymore. Not since she married the one man who bullied him through school. Made him the man he was today.

"I'm sorry Sev." She apologized and standing on her tippy toes, she gripped the material of his vest with her small fists and pulled him in. Without any warning or any thought, their mouths collided.

At first it was a slow and sensual tango as their lips began to explore each others. But it quickly escalated to something more faster and feverish. She unbuttoned the vest and gripped on his black dress shirt. While pulling him closer, one of his arms wrapped around her back and his other hand entwined into her auburn hair. A soft moan escaped her lips and she could feel her knees buckling. She didn't know how long she could hold herself up.

Right on cue, he held her up against the wall. Only now it was willingly.

"Legilimens can have many uses." He spoke, his warm breathe tickling her lips and cheek.

"Oh Sev…" she whispered and her hands began to entwine into his hair and his warm, firm body pressed against her. The next time he kissed her, she nibbled and sucked on his bottom lip, and this drove him mad.

"For Merlin's sake." He growled and kissed her back fiercely. A small thump could be heard as he forced her head against the wall. But she felt nothing except for the passion that was burning in her body. She wanted more and he gave her more. His tongue tickled along her lips and she could feel one of his hand tightened it's grip on her back. His fingers gently brush her cheek and her lips parted in surprise as their flesh made contact. He took advantage of this moment and let his tongue claim hers. They were kissing deeply now, and she didn't even realize what she had gotten herself into.

"Maybe we should move to somewhere more private?" she suggested between kisses. Severus didn't need to be told twice and scooped her up in his arms.


	6. Chapter 6

Severus had a modest room. It contained all the basic needs. A dresser, wardrobe, bed, mirror, etc. All of which he used to his advantage. Severus placed Lily's feet back firmly on the ground after carrying her up the stairs. She weighed nothing compared to the intense physical training of a death eater.

As soon as they entered the room, their lips came crashing together. Severus slammed the door behind them using one hand as they continued kissing. Lily couldn't remember the last time she felt this kind of passion. As Severus kneaded his fingers into her auburn hair, he pushed her firmly up against the tall dresser standing in the corner. He didn't know where this aggression was coming from, but it was most likely from his past less than satisfactory sex life. He had no intentions of stopping though, nor did she want him too.

Trailing his lips down her neck, he nipped at her soft, sensitive skin, followed by a kiss. Lily's eyes widened in surprise, and she quietly gasped. It was a new sensation of pain and pleasure she had never felt before. Snape smirked as he continued down along to her elegant shoulder. He always liked her shoulders. But as the intensity began to build, she didn't know how long she would last.

But before they could go any further, someone was banging loudly on the door. Severus swore under his breath and pulled away.

"Who's that?" she asked concerned, her cheeks still flushed.

"I don't know. Stay here." He answered abruptly, trying to straighten himself out as well but the bangs grew louder and longer.

"Is everything alright?" she asked, but he left the room without answering. Lily scooted up to the bedroom door and pressed her ear against it to see if she could hear anything.

By the time he got to the front door, he was so infuriated that he whipped it open.

"What do you want!" he demanded, not even caring who it was.

"My, my, aren't we grumpy." Bellatrix's voice cackled, pleased with his irritated appearance. "You know, it's not nice to leave your guest outside."

Despite the fact she was the very last person he wanted to see right now, with the exception of Voldemort, he knew he had to let her in. Opening the door wider, he nearly shoved her into the living room and slammed it shut.

Lily had no idea what was happening but could hear the muffled voices from downstairs as she tried to listen in.

"There has been a change in plans." Bellatrix explained as she walked around his living room, picking up objects and studying them. She planned on stretching this out.

"What kind of change?" he asked and sent a small stinging hex to her hand, the next time she was about to pick something up.

She hissed and shook it off. "Apparently, the dark lord told me, to tell you, that he wants you to go to the tavern tonight." She explained, relaying the message.

"Did he mention why?" Severus asked, trying to not look up at the direction of his bedroom.

"No." she shrugged, not having anything else to say.

"Well if that's it." He hissed, between clenched teeth, "Then you may LEAVE now." And with his wand, whipped the front door open for her.

"If I didn't know any better, I would think something is bothering you. Are you hiding something?" She cackled, he was way more agitated than normal.

Lily pressed her ear even harder to the door. Although she couldn't understand any words, she could tell one was Severus and he was with a woman. Giving up, she backed away from the door but tripped over a pair of pants that were left on the ground. Trying to steady herself, she grabbed onto the curtains, but the whole rod, including herself, fell down with a bang.

Both Severus and Bellatrix's head snapped up to the sound coming from his room.

"Oo! Do you have company? Perhaps of the female sorts?!" She said ecstatically, bouncing up and down. "What? To embarrassed to show her face? Have your standards really dropped that low? Lets meet the tramp." She teased and right before booking it upstairs, he threw her very roughly against one wall with magic and wrapped his long, spindly fingers around her neck.

"You know Bellatrix how I don't like to share." He said vehemently as if he could kill her there. Bits of spittle hit her face, he was so closer to her. "I think it's time for you to leave." And grabbing a hand full of her hair, he forced her out his front door and shut it tightly after. He braced himself against the front door for a few seconds to regain composure and make sure she was actually gone. That was very close.

"What in the world…" he grumbled, gripping his wand tightly, bounded up the stairs. Opening the bedroom door quickly, he yelled "What happened?!"

"I'm sorry, the curtains, I tripped." She tried to explain and hung them back up magically. He looked really mad.

"Do you know how close that was.." he mumbled and pulled her body against his. Now that they kissed, he definitely couldn't imagine losing her again.

"I'm sorry." She apologized again and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I have to go." He told her regrettably. "Can you get home alright?" He asked her, his eyes boring into hers.

"Yes, I think so." She said, surprised at the sudden urgency. He could see hurt in her eyes, but she didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry. I can't explain, but I'll open my floo network." He suggested, thinking it would be the safest way for her to leave.

"Alright." She said, feeling a bit disappointed that the night couldn't of lasted any longer and quickly changed back into her clothes. "When will I see you again?" she asked.

"I don't know." Severus answered honestly. "But I will find you, ok?" he promised her, hoping she believed him.

And with that, they walked down into the living room and she gave him one long last passionate kiss before grabbing a handful of powder and going home.

Lily wondered if it wasn't for Bellatrix, what would of actually happened.


	7. Chapter 7

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... and the Dark Lord will mark him…"_

"Get away from there." A gruff voice sounded from behind Severus and he could feel himself being pried away from the door which his ear was firmly pressed up against. A variety of bangs could be heard as he tumbled down the flight of stairs and landed on his back. A man, with similar eyes to Dumbledore himself glared at him with his wand pointed at Snape's face.

"You have two options…" the man continued while Snape laid there, back and bottom both in pain, "You can leave now or I can call in the aurors."

Snape didn't take any time to think and ran out of the tavern. His mission was half completed… but he didn't have any choice now. The dark lord would see everything anyways and Aberforth would later inform his brother of the incident.

Apparating to Diagon Alley, he snuck through an alley and stopped at a grimy looking wall. Placing his dark mark to the cold wet surface, a door appeared, and he entered. It was just one of the many lairs the dark lord formed from each of the death eaters homes.

"_Severusss back so… soon?" _he asked, with a slight infliction of confusion. The modern looking flat was a lot less intimidating than the Malfoy manor.

"Yes my lord." Severus answered and dropped to his knees before the balding man who could hardly be considered human.

The dark lord approached him and with his cold, prying fingers, placed the tips on the top of Severus Snape's head while flooding his mind. It was only mere hours ago that he was in the arms of Lily Evans, but he made sure that the mission was the only thing on his mind.

Lord Voldemort listened to the prophecy closely and then saw the vision become a blur as Severus was being yanked back and fell down the stairs.

"_Crucio!" _he screamed in anger at the failure of one of his most loyal servants. The screams were quickly replaced by those of Severus, as he withered on the floor.

"_You failed me Severusss" _he announced, and small chuckles could be heard from the shadows of the room, where other death eaters had been watching from.

"I'm sorry my lord." Severus croaked out, starting to feel his loyalty falter. Starting to wonder if Lily was right and if all of this was worth it.

A sound of a whip from the tip of Lord Voldemort's wand silenced the room and Severus could feel the white hot pain sear across the skin on his back as it slashed through his robes.

"_I should have you flagellated in the streetsss, but….." _and he paused for dramatic effect, "_you did not completely fail me."_

Severus could feel his body slightly relax, knowing that he wouldn't have to endure any more pain. He didn't dare move from the floor though, even though he wasn't entirely sure if he could…

"_A baby born at the end of July… it's almost to easy." _And Voldemort laughed (if you could call it that).

* * *

"I told you James, it is Order business and I was told to tell no one about it." She reiterated to James for the like umpteenth time. Although the first half of the sentence was true, she wasn't entirely sure about the rest.

Weeks had passed since their first lesson in Occlumency, and she met up with Severus nearly on a weekly basis. Each time she got better at blocking him, the harder it got. But after every lesson they couldn't keep off of each other. Sometimes they would just kiss but then after another week they would get to second base and then third, till one night they actually made love.

Her sex life with James hadn't really improved, and on many occasions she would have to stop herself from comparing. She never believed that the quality of sex was an important part of the relationship but at the same time, she found Severus to be almost like an addiction. Every week she told herself that she wouldn't sleep with him, that they would just do the lesson and leave, and every week she was moaning his name louder. It was a _bloody nuisance_ in her mind and she wondered how long she could live with the guilt. When Albus Dumbledore told her to be friends with Severus, I don't think this was the type of friendship he meant.

* * *

Snow was littering the ground, and falling from the sky in big white puffy clouds. This was Lily's favourite type of snow, the marshmallowy type that stuck to your clothes in big globs.

"Isn't it beautiful Sev?" she asked, holding her palms face up.

"Yah I guess." He grumbled as they trampled through the field of the park, heading back to his house.

"Don't be a scrooge." She joked, as she entered his house and hung up her coat. Everything was routine now. "So are we going to try anything new this week?"

"Well I was considering the kitchen table.." he answered casually.

"Not like that!" she scowled, "I meant in our lessons! When will I get to read YOUR mind." She poked him playfully.

"Never" he replied flat out, not even having to think about it. "You know… You are looking a little paler than usual" he remarked.

"Thanks." She blurted out, rolling her eyes. He sure had a way with words. "I'm fair skinned, what do you expect in the winter?" she joked.

"Yah I guess…" he said, not sounding completely convinced. He placed the wrist of his arm to her forehead.

"What are you doing?" she asked confused, was this suppose to be part of her lesson? She knew that physical contact wasn't needed to practice legilimens, but there are some theories that it makes the link stronger.

"Checking your temperature." He answered, now feeling her tonsils under her chin and then pressed two fingers just above her throat and timed her pulse with his pocket watch.

"This isn't necessary." She grumbled.

"Ssshhhh." He protested and stepped back to observe her. "Well I can't find anything physically wrong…" with his wand, he swept it across her whole body, and she could feel her skin tingle, "and I don't detect anything broken or damaged." Without coming to any conclusions, he gave up and shrugged.

They continued their lessons as usual. Lily could now fully block any bland or impassive memories about mundane things, but she was having difficulty with gloomy or bad memories.

"I'm sorry. I am feeling rather weepy today I guess." She said, not really sure why she was tearing up. They had practice on this memory many times before.

"Perhaps." He agreed, non-convincingly but the following weeks were the same.

"Maybe the war is getting to me…" she suggested this time, a month later from the first time it had happened. _Or maybe the guilt_… her subconscious suggested which she quickly disregarded.

"Perhaps." Was all Severus would answer each time. It was starting to get on her nerves. But then it happened.

_Blllarrgghh. _

"I am so sorry." She said between breathes and then it happened again.

_Aarrgghhee_

"Honestly, it must be something I ate. I promise I'll clean it up. This is so embarrassing." She was nearly in tears, but didn't have time to cry, as it happened a third time. She was bent over what appeared to be an umbrella stand, or maybe it was a large vase, in his hallway. He was gently rubbing her back in circles.

"It's fine, I've seen worse." He wasn't at all troubled.

"O.k I think I am done." And she tapped the umbrella stand with her wand and said _"_Scourgify" to clean the inside. "I think I'll use the washroom." She suggested and nearly tripped over the umbrellas that had jumped out prior to her heaving.

After rinsing her mouth, and splashing some water on her face, she left the washroom but didn't go far. Severus was standing there, holding a small vial. "Drink." Was all he said.

"Why? What is it?" she asked, staring at the contents. They didn't look to good.

"Just drink it." He said, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. He was afraid to tell her in case she wouldn't go through with it, and she should know him well enough by now to trust him.

"Alright." She said, knowing he wouldn't answer. "This is when legilimens would come in handy." She poked fun.

Taking it down in one gulp, she licked her lips. "Taste like snips." She remarked but then had the sudden urge to use the washroom. "Excuse me!" she said quickly and slammed the door shut and ran for the toilet. It was as if she drank a gallon of water and had been holding it. "What the…"

Looking down in the toilet, the water had turned a bright blue. Similar to the colour of muggle washrooms in public bathrooms after they cleaned them. Or anti-freeze.

Severus scowled and prepared himself for the reaction.

"What was that!" she demanded, and flew the door open (after flushing of course).

"What?" he sounded confused. Didn't she know?

"What do you mean what?" she demanded again. Clearly she had no idea what the potion was.

"Come with me." He guided her to the kitchen table and made her sit. He sat across from her and placed his hands over hers.

"Pregnacia. A pregnancy potion."

"And let me guess.." she said bitterly, "Blue means boy."

"Was it blue!?" he asked surprised, not sure if he was suppose to be happy or not.

"Maybe." She answered and pulled her hands away from him and crossed them over her chest.

"I thought you were on The Potion." He asked.

"I was on THE potion." She replied, "but clearly THE potion didn't help."

"What do you mean the potion didn't help? The contraceptive potion is 99.9% effective."

"I am aware Severus." She said between clenched teeth.

"Well are you taking any other potions with it?" he questioned.

"No, the only potion I took was the one that Poppy gave me a week ago when I got that cold."

Severus sighed.

"What?" she asked, feeling her face redden. She knew this wasn't necessarily his fault but with the combination of lack of reaction and the bombarding of questions, she couldn't help it. The hormones were also not helping.

"Anti-potions, like those to clear colds or infections, often annihilate the affects of a contraceptive potion, assuming they may be the cause of the bacteria. It takes at least a week for the full effects of a contraceptive to regulate." He explained.

"Well isn't that great." She replied, "You could have told me a little sooner."

"I just assumed you knew."

"Well why would I know."

"It's on the back of the bottle. And anyways, I am sure your _husband _will be thrilled!"

"My Husband?! Who's to say it isn't Yours!" they were both nearly yelling now, and half standing off their chairs.

_His?_ Could Severus Snape really produce a child. And if so, what would that mean? He couldn't really be with Lily, how would he explain that? _Oh by the way, I decided to drop the cause and marry a mudblood and join the order._ But Lily really wasn't a mudblood to him.

"Well, you don't have to keep it." He suggested meekly, not sure how she was going to react.

She thumped back down in her chair. She never really thought about that.

"I guess not…" she replied gently, not actually sure if she would be able to go through with an abortion or adoption. "I mean, I guess I have some time to think about it. I mean I have til.." and she counted on her fingers, "end of July, beginning of August."

_... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ..._

Snape swore, which was a habit that had progressed since the war started.

_"_What?" she asked confused. A little happier that he was actually having some sort of reaction now. His face even looked a little paler, if that was possible.

"Nothing." He breathed, clearly off in space, "I just forgot to do something…" he lied, but as his focus returned to her, he could see tears pouring down her face.

"I'm sorry. I am just feeling so overwhelmed. I mean a BABY! I don't know what to do with a BABY. Especially in the middle of a war." She cried.

"I'm sure loads of people have babies during wars." He tried to help. "Isn't that Weasley lady on like number three? I'm sure she would help out. And I'll do what I can."

"Yah, I know." She sniffed.

"Come on, lets lay down, I don't think occlumens lessons would be any good today." He suggested and they both went up to his bedroom. While they laid there, and he held her in his arms, he thought about what he would have to do to keep her safe.


	8. Chapter 8

"Well I have some good news and bad news." She began to gently explain to James as they sat in the living room with two cups of tea. "The good news is, I went to Saint Mungos," _LIE _"and found out I am not sick." _Well at least that part is true, she thought to herself. _"But I am…." She gnawed on her bottom lip for awhile wondering how he was going to take this, "Pregnant."

James blinked a few times and then repeated the word back to her, "Pregnant?!"

"Yes… Pregnant."

"Well that's swell Lily! Is it going to be a girl or a boy?!" he asked excitedly.

"Uh, A boy?" she said a little surprised by his sudden happiness.

"A Boy!" He said even more delighted. "We need to get some cigars! Where are the boys?! We need to celebrate!" he got up and started bustling around.

"This is wonderful!" he said to Lily and pulled her in for a big kiss right on the lips. "I'll be right back! Are you ok? Do you need anything?"

She shook her head no and with that, he ran out the door to fetch the cigars, the streamers and non-alcoholic champagne.

* * *

"There is a child who is to be born to the Potters." Snape informed Lord Voldemort in his monotone voice. "But I ask of you to please spare the mother."

Was he out of his mind?! Asking Lord Voldemort to spare a mudblood in his favour?! But he was desperate. There was no where to turn.

"_Spare the mother Severusss?_" Lord Voldemort repeated, not quite understanding.

"Yes my lord. She is of no consequence and she has been a valuable source of information relating to the Order. I am sure that if she is spared, and I comfort her after the loss of her son and husband, she will tell me everything."

Severus had hoped that this might work. To make the dark lord believe he was only seducing her to get information and by sparing her, they could develop a closer bond.

"_Very well Severusss, you can have your reward for being such a loyal servant. I will do what I can_."

Severus knew he would not get anything more, and accepted it most graciously.

"Thank you my lord, I assure you that I will not fail you."

Upon leaving the manor, he knew this was not enough. He needed to protect her more. Lord Voldemort was not to be trusted, especially when dealing with the life of Lily Evans. Apparating in Hogsmeade, he entered the tavern and checked into the room in which he first heard about the prophecy. Dumbledore was already waiting. He stood as Severus entered and closed the door behind him. At first Severus thought he was going to attack him but realized he was putting up silencing wards and intruder alerts.

"You can never be to safe." He assured Severus, with that same twinkle in his eyes that Severus remembered as a student. He could feel his gaze penetrating his soul, although this was very different from Lord Voldemort. A lot warmer and welcoming but Severus did not open his mind. Not yet.

He could not find the right words to start this conversation either. Dumbledore sat back down and magically transformed Snape's hard wooden chair into something a lot more comfortable and over stuffed like his own. Severus took a seat across the table.

"I know about the prophecy, it was me that night at the door." Severus began, thinking this would be a good place to start. Despite the surroundings he felt as if he was sitting in Dumbledore's office and it made him feel guilty like a little schoolboy who had skipped class, a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time as he was scrutinized under the eyes of Albus Dumbledore. "But only the beginning!"

"I am aware." Dumbledore replied and knitted his long, knobbly fingers together that were starting to wear away after the many years of use. His wand remained on the table to show that he meant no harm and Severus also placed his down.

"The child…" Severus's voice was beginning to sound more desperate now. "The child is Lily's."

"Yes, well that is one possibility, but I don't see why a death eater, such as yourself, would be concerned with matters such as these." He said calmly. Severus could feel himself begin to lose composure and the walls he had built over the years were crumbling down.

"He will kill Lily if he can't get to the child." Beads of sweat were beginning to form on Severus's forehead.

"Awh yes. And what would you like me to do about that? Hand over the child to Voldemort so that he can kill another innocent life to spare Lily's?"

"No." Severus replied, although part of him wanted to say yes. He did not know how much Dumbledore knew or didn't know. Was he aware that they had been sleeping together? "You need to hide them. Somewhere that the dark lord can't find them."

"I suppose I could, but how do I know you are telling the truth and how would it benefit the order? What can you offer me?" he asked, raising one eyebrow. "I could easily turn you over right now to the ministry and use the Potter family as bait."

Was Dumbledore threatening him? He was a little shocked the old man had it in him.

"There is no saying that you could actually kill the dark lord and then their lives would be wasted. Is it really worth the risk? And I will give you anything." He said, falling to his knees before Dumbledore's feet. "I'll give you anything. I don't have much. You can have my money, my house, my services."

"And how am I suppose to know this is not some ploy?" Dumbledore's eyebrows furrowed and Severus waited for him to force his way into his mind, but he did not.

"Because…" was all Severus could answer at first…

"HHHmmmmm?" Dumbledore leaned in closer to Severus who was still begging on the floor.

"Because I love her!" he announced, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from his soul and he didn't know if he ought to cry or laugh. But knowing he couldn't do either, he waited there stunned. Dumbledore probably thought him mad… that he was a big liar… I mean what kind of Deatheater..

"Stand up deer boy." Dumbledore chuckled, he couldn't help himself and wished to lighten the mood. Severus obeyed slowly.

Dumbledore waved his hand to indicate to sit back down across the table. "There is two things I request of you, and then I will promise to keep Lily, James and the baby safe." Severus scowled at James's name. "First, I expect you to become a member of the order and to give any information I wish, to benefit the cause, at any time."

"Yes, yes of course." Severus expected that and was actually rather… pleased. After the last few months, he realized that there was more to life than power and wealth.

"Second, Hogwarts is in need of a potion master and I know from your past experiences that you meet the requirements."

"A potions master?" he repeated, not expecting that.

"Yes"

"and what am I suppose to tell the dark lord?" he asked, still surprised.

"Tell him what you like." He shrugged. "Tell him you meet the requirements of the job and you have convinced me that you changed and I believed you and it could benefit him to have someone on the inside. Tell him whatever he needs to hear in order to be convinced. From what I've witnessed, you are a very good occlumens. Do we have a deal?"

Severus didn't think about it for long. He had lied to the dark lord before, how would this be any different. "Yes." He agreed.

"Excellent!" Dumbledore clapped his hands together and went back to his cheery self. "Here is the document binding us to the agreement. You, Severus Snape, will serve as potions master to Hogwarts school beginning of September and serve the Order for the greater good, and I, Albus Dumbledore, promise to keep Lily Evans safe in return. If you fail to comply, than the contract will break and you will suffer grave consequences. Now just sign the bottom line." He passed Severus the quill.

"Sir, would it not be more beneficial if I were to teach Defense Against The Dark Arts?" He held the quill above the paper.

"I'm sorry, but I do not think that wise." Dumbledore's face got a little more stern and Severus sighed quickly before he changed his mind.,

"Very good, now I must be off. I shall see you in September, Professor Snape. I would suggest…" Dumbledore added just before he was about to leave, "that you _take your time_ leaving." Dumbledore winked and with that, vanished through the wards and apparated away.

Severus's head fell into his hands, and tears began to leak from his eyes. He touched his cheek with his fingers and was shocked, he did not know he was still capable of such an emotion and quickly wiped it away.

* * *

Lily, James, Peter, Sirius and Remus all sat around the kitchen table as they waited for the arrival of Dumbledore. Since the war started, they couldn't remember the last time they all sat and conversed together. It was rare that they were all home at the same time, and Peter came over less and less. Dumbledore apparated right into their living room, giving them all a bit of shock.

"Merlin's beard, how do you do that." James breathed out and they all lowered their wands that were pointed in his direction. Dumbledore frowned.

"My apologies, I find it very rude to drop in like that but desperate times calls for desperate measures." He explained, looking rather grave.

Lily felt very apprehensive and was trying her best to remain calm and emotionless. She was using some of the breathing techniques that Severus had taught her in their lessons. It also helped with keeping the vile back that would often rise in her throat due to the first trimester of pregnancy. A small bump was beginning to protrude under her clothes, but was still concealable. Dumbledore sat on the empty unfolded chair that was placed at the kitchen table for him. It was a tight fit being such a small apartment.

"Well I have some good news, and some bad news." He began with and looked around at everyone. "It appears that a prophecy has been created by Sybill Trelawney, the great-great granddaughter of Cassandra Trelawney." he explained, hoping everyone was following along, "And it says that the one born at the end of the seventh month shall be the one with the power to vanquish the dark lord and he will mark him as his equal." He reiterated the quick version to them, leaving out information.

No one responded.

"I don't get it." Sirius eventually said, "A baby at the end of the seventh month will defeat he who shall not be named?"

"Right." Dumbledore answered.

"You can't mean Harry?!" Lily looked down at her stomach. Lily and James had decided to name him after James's father.

"I'm afraid so." Dumbledore decided he would be as truthful as he thought possible.

"Well that's bloody mad!" James got upset, while Lily was trying to choke back tears. "How the hell is a baby suppose to defeat the one who shall not be named! Do we know if he knows?"

"Lord Voldemort only heard part of the prophecy, which is the good news. All he is aware of is that his equal will be born at the end of July which gives us the advantage. I believe the best plan of action is to hide you until we know."

"Well their baby can't be the only baby born at the end of July" Remus observed.

"That is true." Dumbledore answered, raising one finger in the air to make a point. "But the only other baby that meets the requirements are the Longbottom's and they to will be hidden if they so choose."

Lily covered her mouth in horror as she continued to listen,

"But this means you will have to pick a secret keeper. Someone who you can trust, and will be the only one who will know your whereabouts. We can give you a few minutes to discuss it between yourselves, and come back with your answer."

Lily was beginning to feel very overwhelmed. She nodded, not entirely sure if this was all making sense.

"I chose Peter" James announced to all their surprise.

"Peter?" Lily repeated. Peter would have been her last guess.

"Yes Peter! I mean, no one would expect us to pick him, and he hasn't given us any reason to doubt him. I mean, it seems only logical."

"Alright, well if you think that is best?" Lily agreed, not feeling 100% confident, but she then figured she never would. At first when Dumbledore told them to pick someone trustworthy, her mind automatically went to Severus Snape, but she knew that would never be possible. And probably extremely dangerous.

"I think that Sirius would be the obvious choice. Sorry mate. And although we love you Remus, you would be a wild card around the full moon, which leaves us with Peter."

"And are you sure about this." Dumbledore asked them, looking over his glasses now at the couple.

"Yes." James responded trying to sound confident and looked at Lily and held one of her hands.

"Yes, I am sure Peter will be a good secret keeper." She gave him a soft smile.

"Alright." Dumbledore pulled out a bright shinning gold key and a small parchment of paper. "By accepting this key Peter Pettrigrew, you are taking the responsibility to be their keeper. Once you have memorised the address, the paper will dissolve and a charm will be set upon you so you shall never forget it. The key is the only one that will break the wards."

Peter nodded and looked down at the piece of parchment.

43 Godric's Hollow.

"Now that we have taken care of that business. Lily, I need to speak with you privately." James looked a little upset and confused. Dumbledore stood up and offered his arm for Lily to grab on. "I assure you I will have your_ wife _back soon. I would suggest James Potter that you start packing." Lily was trying to figure out why he emphasized the word _Wife_ while they disappeared and felt as if they were being sucked through a tiny straw.

* * *

"Where are we?" she asked, as she looked around the what appeared to be a room at an inn.

At the sound of her voice, Severus lifted his head hopeful, to see both Lily and Dumbledore standing in the room.

"It appears we have much to discuss." Dumbledore said sternly.


	9. Chapter 9

"Lily" Severus nearly choked the words out and stood up quickly.

"Severus." Lily said gently, full of warmth and relief. It had been the longest they had been apart in months. All she wanted to do was run up to him and wrap her arms around his slender frame, but assumed this would not be appropriate in front of Albus Dumbledore. Although, reality came crashing back quickly.

"I believe you two have some explaining to do." Dumbledore said to both of them, peering over his half moon specs. "Please, sit down." He assumed this was going to be a long and tedious conversation.

Severus pulled out Lily's chair like a gentlemen and then sat in his own. Lily tried her best to not look guilty in front of Dumbledore and clear her head of all emotions like Severus taught her, but it was very difficult. Especially since she could feel her arm brush against his, and if she moved her thigh just slightly to the right, it would be able to press up against…

"Would it be wrong for me to assume that you two have become rather _close_ friends." Lily's eyes snapped back up to Dumbledore's. His gaze shifted between the two of them. Lily could feel vile begin to creep up her throat again, and her whole body became tense. _Did he know?_ She wondered. Severus slipped his hand into hers under the table and gave it a tight squeeze. It took some of the edge off of the panic and grounded her. He always knew what she needed, and it melted her heart.

"No it would not, depending on your definition of close." Severus retorted, for the both of them. Lily was rather glad he was replying, because she wasn't sure if she could keep her voice steady.

"Would you agree Lily?" Dumbledore's eyes now began to poor into hers.

"Yes." Was all Lily could reply, sounding a little more high pitch than normal. With her free hand, she began to rub her stomach in a counter clockwise motion to try and soothe the unsettling feeling.

"So then it is safe to say that there is _nothing_ else I should know about. That this is an innocent friendship between two people who have reunited after many years AND before you answer me, I would like to state that although you two are no longer my students, this does not change my feelings towards lying or cheating." The last words directed at Severus.

Lily didn't even know what to say. Perhaps this was their opportunity. She was 90% sure he knew anyways but she could hear Severus scuff beside her and his chair creaked as he leaned a little more into it.

"Do you find something I said humorous, Severus?" Dumbledore questioned.

"You are trying to tell me that since this war began, you have been 100% honest with all your precious order members?" he sounded rather bitter, and Lily looked up worried. She hadn't ever heard anyone speak to Dumbledore so disrespectfully.

"To the best of my abilities." Dumbledore replied calmly.

"Oh I can imagine." Severus said sarcastically, not believing a word. He wasn't sure what had overcome him, but perhaps it was his fight or flight instincts kicking in. Maybe he believed that Dumbledore would take Lily away from him, and was getting annoyed at everyone trying to invade his personal business.

"Maybe we are more than friends." Severus spat. "But so what? How is that any of your business?"

Lily's eyes had gone very wide. _Was he mad!?_ She thought loudly. Dumbledore still appeared serene though.

"Well if it is true," Dumbledore continued, "then I must regrettably ask if that is in fact James Potter's son."

Lily was beginning to shake now and tears were prickling her eyes. This whole situation was not only extremely embarrassing but also saddening. Severus hated to see her upset and felt like hexing the world into oblivion.

"How should we know? In case you are not aware, a paternity test can't be taken until after the baby is born." Severus let go of Lily's hand and crossed his arms over his chest. Lily felt a little more cold.

"That is very true." Dumbledore answered, as if Severus were a student answering a question correctly in class. "And with that I should be off. But before I leave, I would like to remind the both of you that Lily will be entering her safe house with James Potter, her husband, very soon. So I recommend you say your good byes. I presume you can get her home safely?" Dumbledore asked, and with a twinkle in his eyes, disappeared before they had time to answer.

Lily looked over at Severus, still not really sure what had just happened.

"Don't worry about him." Severus reassured her and brushed a thumb over her cheek. He knew what Dumbledore's words meant, and that they would not be able to see each other again for a long time.

"Severus, the last weeks have been so hard not seeing you. I don't know what I am going to do."

"Sssshhhh." He quieted her, not moving his hand away from her cheek. "I promise you that if we both make it through this war alive, I will always be your friend."

Lily began to quiver and let her head fall into his shoulder as she sobbed. "Don't talk like that Severus." She mumbled into his robes. "Of course we are going to make it." She looked up at him with watery eyes and placed both her hands on either side of his face, to make him look back.

_She is always optimistic._ He thought to himself and gave her a small smile. "Alright, I won't." he reassured her.

"Good." She whispered and pushed her lips against his. He could feel the dampness of her fresh tears on his own cheeks but didn't waste any time. He quickly wrapped his protective arms around her waist and kissed her back fiercely.

"How long do you have?" he asked, between the kissing.

"I don't know. Twenty minutes." She answered, not really able to think.

"That's long enough for me." He smirked and picked her up and placed her on the edge of the table.

"Oh Severus."

When it was all said and done, they remained embraced for a little while longer.

"I don't want this moment to end." She said hugging him.

"Nor do I." he replied and shut his eyes tightly as he hid in her shoulder now.

Quickly they got changed and smoothed out each others hair and clothes. There was nothing else for them to say or do so Severus made sure he got her home safe as he promised Dumbledore, and walked the cold and lonely streets of London lost in thought and sorrow. He didn't know where she was going or when she would come back. But he knew what he had to do…

* * *

"_A teacher at Hogwartsss…" _Voldemort responded and Severus was nearly cringing, thinking about the pain he was about to endure. "_Yesss. YESSS. That will work perfectly. You shall be my spy. Brilliant Severusss. Let's celebrate. Wormtail, fetch Severusss his reward."_

Wormtail scuttled off and dragged in a good looking girl around the same age as Severus. She appeared to be wearing… lingerie?

"_Your reward Severuss! The blood traitor from the ministry, employee of the muggle protection servicesss, for you to play with however you like." _

All the death eaters began to cheer and make cat calls. Severus approached her as she cowered on the floor. At one time, this may have impressed Severus but since being with Lily, he couldn't imagine being with anyone else.

"Come." He commanded and grabbed her by the wrist to leave the room. But she was to scared to move. Grumbling, he wrapped magical ropes around her and dragged her out. The death eaters cheered even louder. Although they assumed Severus had a night of romping and torture in one of Lucius Malfoy's luxurious spare rooms, in reality, he killed her quickly and sat there on the bed thinking about the future.

* * *

Dumbledore had moved Lily and James into their new home the day after she saw Severus for the last time. A part of her was worried that he would tell James then and there, what her and Severus had or were, but instead, Dumbledore pretended like nothing had happened and wished them well.

The house was small but a perfect starter home for any family. It had two bedrooms and a quaint living room that looked out onto a quiet road. Although they were not entirely sure where they were, and were not allowed to leave the home, Lily assumed they were in a small town.

Weeks passed, and Lily would stare out the window wondering where and how Severus was doing as her belly began to grow bigger over time. James knew something was wrong but assumed it was from being cooped up all day. He to was feeling lonely and missing his friends and family. But together they learned how to love each other in a different way. A more, mature way. Until one day…

"James! James! I think it's happening." She cried, and looked down at her legs that were now soaked.

"What?" he ran into the living room, a dishtowel in hand.

"Either I wee'd myself, or my water broke." She answered, looking down at the mess.


	10. Chapter 10

"The midwife is here Lily." James announced and brought her into the confinements of their bedroom where Lily was laying on the bed and gripping her stomach.

"Alright dear." The midwife walked over to Lily, "Let's get you prepared." And she started taking things out of her medical bag that must have had an expansion charm due to the amount of things she was pulling out.

* * *

"I've just received word, my lord, that the Potter mudblood just went into labour, my lord." Peter Pettrigrew had a smile that stretched across his face while delivering this news.

"_Gooood Gooood._" The dark lord rasped while petting the head of Nagini.

Severus took in a sharp breathe while he heard the news.

"_Everything alright Severussss?" _Lord Voldemort questioned his most loyal servant. Since he had lost contact with Lily, he had been working feverishly on his mission for Dumbledore to keep himself busy. He was now Lord Voldemort's second in command.

"Yes my lord, just taken aback by the wonderful news." He placed a fake smirk on his face while he lied.

* * *

"Well you are three centimetres dilated"

"Three!" Lily yelled, as another contraction was about to rip through her body. "Can't I just have the pain potion now?"

"At five." The midwife reassured her.

Lily quickly grabbed James's hand and yelled loudly as the next contraction hit.

"We made it!" Sirius announced as he and Remus appeared and ran towards the room where they heard sounds coming from, "But we couldn't find Peter-HolyHippogriffs!" And Sirius ran back out of the room as fast as he entered it seeing Lily screaming in pain with her legs still spread apart as the Midwife was finishing up.

* * *

"43 Godric's Hollow" Wormtail recited to You-Know-Who.

"_And are you sure Wormtail?"_

"Yes." Peter replied.

"Then we shall go tonight."

_TONIGHT! _Severus panicked mentally as he sat in the chair next to the dark lord.

"Are you sure that is wise?" Severus asked.

"_Are you questioning my judgement Severusss?"_ The dark lord accused.

Severus Snape hated the way Lord Voldemort pronounced his name. "My apologies my lord, I just meant…" but what did he mean?, "I am sure that many people will be gathering for the birth of their son, even if they don't know about the prophecy, including Dumbledore himself."

"AARRRGGGHHHHH" Lily exclaimed, her whole body was covered in sweat and her hair clung to her face. James was looking a little more pale too. "When is this potion suppose to kick in?" she asked between clenched teeth.

"Any minute dear." The midwife chimed, as if she was tickled pink by the whole experience. Her overall cheeriness almost made Lily more mad, but another contraction hit.

"GGAAAHHHHHHH"

Sirius and Remus decided to reside in the living room to wait and looked at each other as the screams grew louder. Dumbledore popped right in the middle of the living room to join them.

"How is she doing?" he asked, looking between the two men.

"EEEERRRRRRGGGHHHHH" came another loud and prolonged grunt from the bedroom.

"Ah yes. Anytime now." He smiled and took a seat, "Where is Peter?" he asked, looking all of a sudden concerned.

* * *

"_I suppose you are correct Severusss. We shall wait then until Dumbledore himself believesss they are safe and then strike_." An evil smile spread across Lord Voldemort's face, and he continued to pet Nagini.

Severus sat there, trying to not think about what Lily was going through. He wanted to be the one with her. I mean, there was a 50/50 chance it was his own baby that James would be holding. He felt like being sick.

* * *

"I can see the head. Now just one more push."

Lily was exhausted, but with her last bit of energy, she pushed the baby out, and the sound of a baby crying began to fill the room. The midwife waved her wand over the bundle of joy to clean him up and then passed him over to Lily and James to swaddle him up.

James quickly ran into the living room and announced, "It's a boy!" and ran back into the bedroom.

"We already knew that." Sirius muttered.

The midwife gave Lily a blood replenisher and an energy potion with made her feel a lot better.

"You did very well." She congratulated Lily and patted her on the head as she left the happy couple and entered the living room. "She is doing well. Tired I presume, but they had a healthy baby boy weighing in at 7lbs and 3 oz."

"Good to hear." Dumbledore gave her a soft smile and stood up to offer her his arm. He was the only one who could apparate in and out the home.

"Be sure to wish James and Lily a congratulations for me. I'll be back in a few days." Was the last thing Dumbledore said before returning the midwife back to St Mungos.

A few minutes later, James walked out with a handful of cigars and passed them out before flopping down on the couch.

"He looks like a seeker." James joked and lit the end of his cigar with the rest of the boys. "How did you guys get here anyways?" He had never been so happy to see his friends.

As the weeks passed and August approached, gifts and cards flooded in from friends and family to congratulated them on their new addition. It took weeks for Lily and James to adjust to the baby's schedule and they were exhausted. They hadn't seen anyone since the day of Harry's birth, and Lily felt very morose. The midwife returned with Dumbledore, reassuring her it was not uncommon, and gave her an anti-depressant potion to take daily until she felt well again. Both Lily's and James's parents were allowed to visit once to see their first grand-child which made her feel a little better, but as she looked down at the little bundle of joy, she had to wonder where Severus was, and if who was actually the real father.

* * *

It was the beginning of August and Severus was overwhelmingly happy to be arriving at Hogwarts to sort out the logistics of his new job and see his room, office and classroom for the first time. He had grown a lot more thin, and dark circles had formed under his eyes since he had last seen Dumbledore. But more importantly he could finally share all the information he had gathered for Albus.

Dumbledore flooded Severus's mind, soaking up all the information once he entered his office. Severus had let Dumbledore see everything willingly.

Albus was now pulling the shimmery strand of memory from his own mind while it was still fresh and placing it in the pensive when he asked, "And you are sure you don't know the day he intends on killing Harry?"

"I don't know." He said honestly, "I was only told that it would happen any time this month."

Dumbledore stood up and walked over to his window that looked out across the courtyard that was now empty for the summer holidays. He sighed and looked over at Severus. Severus thought he looked a lot more older than usual.

"Well thank, my dear boy. Your information has been very useful." He reassured him with a soft smile. Severus only wished he could do more. "You may go now and get settled in. I hope everything is to your liking. Unless, of course, there is anything else?"

"Actually…" Severus began, feeling a little awkward. He wasn't sure how Dumbledore was going to react. "I was wondering if it would be possible to give Lily this." And he handed Dumbledore a silver chain with a small vile hanging on the end, full of clear liquid. Dumbledore studied it curiously.

"I have never seen anything like this." He held the vile between two fingers.

"It is one of my own creations." Severus admitted. "I have been doing a lot of research for the dark lord. Experimenting with dark spells and potions." He explained, "But I feel it is equally important to create counter curses. This potion should last for about 5 hours and will protect her against most dark magic."

"And you are sure it works?" Dumbledore asked, not feeling a 100% convinced.

"No." Severus answered honestly, "But it won't hurt her either." He quickly added. "I've just never had the chance to… test it." He worded the sentence carefully. "It's only a precaution and it is very important to not use on children." Severus was worried that Lily would try to give it to Harry rather than taking it herself.

"Alright." Dumbledore responded and pocketed it. Severus wasn't sure if Albus would actually give it to Lily, but it was his only hope. He knew that if he owled the necklace to her, than she wouldn't drink it and they would be panicking that the death eaters knew about their location. He wasn't even sure if Dumbledore had told them yet. The portraits around Dumbledore's office began to mumble their disapproval but Severus ignored it.

"If that is all, you may go. And if you have any problems, please feel free to use our house elves."

Severus nodded and walked back to his new room. It was possibly one of the nicest rooms he has ever lived in, and looked more like a small apartment than a bedroom.

* * *

"_Tonight's the night Bellatrix."_ Voldemort said feverishly. Now that Severus was gone to work at Hogwarts for awhile, Bellatrix took his position as second in command.

"Yes my lord. Let me do it for you! You shouldn't be concerned with such frugal matters." She offered, waiting on him hand and foot.

"_Nooo Bellatrix. You have done enough taking care of the Longbottom pureblood traitors." _He hissed, "_Leave Harry to me."_

She pouted, wanting to do more for her master. She swore that she would be a much better servant than Severus during his absence. She did not like being demoted.


	11. Chapter 11

Lily was putting Harry down for the night when his window flew open and Fawkes appeared. He dropped the necklace into her hands along with an envelope and landed on the side of Harry's crib. Lily opened it. It was from Dumbledore.

_Dear Lily,_

_If you are ever in danger, drink this potion, it will protect you. Do not, however, give any to Harry because it is not meant for infants._

_Sincerely, Albus Dumbledore_

Lily put the chain around her neck and tucked it into her shirt. She began to worry, was Dumbledore expecting danger? She looked over at Harry who was giggling as he reached for Fawke's tail feathers.

There was a knock at the door. Lily quickly looked out Harry's window to the front door. There was a figure clothed in a black robe accompanied by what appeared to be a… snake?

"Sweet Merlin." She swored and yelled, "James don't get the….!" But before she could finish, a green light filled the hallway and all she could hear was the horrid words, _Avada Kedavara. _Those two awful words that no witch or wizard ever wanted to hear.

"JAMES!" She screamed, but got no reply. "JAMES!" but as she was screaming hysterically, the large snake was slithering towards her.

"No!" She screamed, while shutting the door quickly and used every charm she could think of to fortify it. She knew it wouldn't make any difference though and quickly backed up towards the crib.

The door blew off of it's hinges. Standing in the door frame was the black robed man, who's hood was now pulled back to reveal a pale, horrid face, that could hardly be considered human.

"_Give Harry to me_." He rasped. Was he negotiating with her? Nagini snapped at her feet but didn't attack.

"No." she answered, shocked at the calmness in her voice and pointed her wand at the villain but it shook viciously from fear.

_"I'll give you one more chance."_ He bargained, _"Move out of the way, and you will not get hurt."_

Fawkes screeched and Lily began to wonder where Dumbledore and the rest of the order was? Could she hold him off long enough for them to arrive? Did they even know?

"No." she replied again.

"_Very well. I tried, didn't I Nagini?" _he talked to his snake, "_Get her._" But as the snake lunged, Fawkes flew off of the crib side and grabbed the snake in mid-air and flew right out of the window.

"_NNOOOOOO" _Lord Voldemort screeched and then Lily's world went from a bright green to a black.

* * *

Severus's dark mark had been burning the entire day. He knew something was not right. It never burned for this long. Deciding it was extremely suspicious, he walked towards Dumbledore's office to discuss the matter. But half way there, it stopped moving all together and he looked down at his arm.

_Strange_ he thought to himself and continued on his way.

As he said the password and ascending the spiral staircase, all the portraits began to tut at him and shake their heads. "Foul Deatheater." One spat.

Severus didn't understand. He knew that the portraits of past headmasters and headmistresses often didn't like him, but they never voiced it.

"What is it?" he growled, angry at their accusations. He was at least trying to change his ways!

With a loud thud, Dumbledore's office window flew open and Fawkes came tumbling in. He was covered in blood and …. Bite marks?

Severus approached the bird slowly, and began to look him over. He recognized those marks. They belonged to Nagini. Before he could help the tortured bird though, the whole thing went up in flames and then hatched into a new baby. Severus was grateful since he did not know anything about healing animals, but realization hit him like a brick wall and he booked it from the office.

"Hey where do you think you are going?!" one of the portraits yelled after him as he began to run down the stairs out of the castle. "You're suppose to wait…"

He had to get to Hogsmeade to apparate to Lily. He didn't think once about the consequences of his actions.

* * *

Severus thought he was the first one to arrive. He already knew the address and location since Peter Pettigrew leaked it in front of him. He swore he would kill that man one day. As he apparated to the house though, the front door was already blown in. He knew he was to late.

Carefully and quietly he crept into the house. The first thing he saw was James Potter's dead body on the floor. He was thankful to see that there was no blood, and he knew that he must of died quick. But that still did not ease the sickening feeling in his gut. As he listened carefully though, he could hear voices coming from the bedroom.

"Oh Albus, this is horrible." At first it was Minerva McGonagall that spoke, and Severus listened carefully outside of the door.

"Let's just be thankful they are still alive." Dumbledore replied gravely.

"Should I inform the other members?" Hagrid spoke now, sniffling back what Severus assumed to be tears.

"Yes, that would be wise. Severus, we could use your assistance." Severus was caught off guard. He assumed no one knew of his presence, but standing up straight now, he entered the room.

Lily laid on the ground, hair covering her face and she wasn't moving. Hagrid was still bouncing Harry in his arm, well more like hand, trying to calm the upset baby. Harry seemed even more small in comparison to Hagrid.

"Do you think you would be able to return Lily to the hospital wing at Hogwarts? Poppy is waiting for her there." Albus asked of Severus.

"Yes." Severus responded immediately but Minerva cleared her voice.

"Are you sure that is wise Albus?" Minerva had that worried expression on her face, "I mean given the circumstances…"

"Yes Minerva, I have every faith in Severus."

A hole had been blown into the room that went from the side of the house to the roof. He analysed it, trying to figure out what happened.

"I will explain everything later." Dumbledore reassured Snape.

Picking Lily up in his arms, bridal style, he carried her out of the house through the missing wall and back to Hogwarts. The ministry arrived shortly after.

* * *

Lily's vision slowly came back to her, and she could see blurry faces looking down at her. _Am I dead? _She wondered, trying to adjust her eyes to see better. Soon, she regained some feelings in her limbs and tried to push herself up, but wasn't able to.

"Now now dear, you musn't tucker yourself out." A voice rang through her head. It was someone's hands holding her down, and she left her body go limp again. Reality was becoming more clear.

She recognized the place as the hospital wing. She only recognized it because of the amount of time she had spent there after Quidditch matches with James.

"Harry, James?!" she squeaked out. Her voice was completely gone. It sounded like she had been sleeping for days.

"Yes, Harry is right here." Molly plopped little Harry on the bed next to her, and she started to cry, overwhelmed with happiness that he was still alive. But where was James?

"And James?" she said weakly, moving her head to see around the room. There was actually quite a few people there either injured or dropping in to visit.

No one wanted to answer at first.

"All in due time." Dumbledore replied softly and patted her hand, forcing a smile on his face to pretend like everything was alright. She was still very weak.

"Where's James? He is ok?" she kept asking over and over again. Severus was watching from a distance, standing alone in a corner. He knew she wouldn't give up until she got the answer.

"Just tell her." Severus stepped towards the bed and looked at Lily for the first time. She stopped her hysterics to look into his eyes. It had been so long.

"James is dead." Dumbledore said quietly, while she continued to look at Severus.

Lily's world went black again.

For weeks she would wake up, and then the pain would come back again. James was gone. And although she was completely healed physically, she found that she couldn't get out of bed. Severus hated to see her in this kind of pain, but he couldn't take it away. There was no potion in the world to cure a broken heart. He knows from experience. And although part of him was bitter that she still longed for James, he never left her side.

Dumbledore eventually explained everything. When Voldemort hit her with the killing curse, the vile from the necklace broke and poured the protective potion over herself. But it was the power of love that caused the curse to rebound and maimed Voldemort and created the scar on Harry's head.

* * *

"I'm sorry Sev." She said for the umpteenth time as they walked by the lake on the school grounds. It was one of the first times Lily had gone outside in over a month. But everything reminded her James and she couldn't stop crying.

"It's alright Lily." Severus reassured her as always. "You know, you can lean on me." Severus reminded her.

"Yah I know." She replied, and sometimes she was tempted too. It would be so much easier to replace James with Severus, but she wasn't ready and didn't think it was fair to him. No one should have to be a rebound but Severus really didn't care. He would take any affection from Lily, and over the last few weeks, he could feel them growing apart from her depression and he hated it.

James was buried in Godric's Hollow. Lily could barely remember the funeral. A part of her was grateful that Harry was so young. He did not understand what was going on. His whole family was devastated and Sirius had shortly been submitted to Azkaban for killing Peter Pettrigrew.

"I really don't mind Lily." Severus was still talking to her but she only caught half of it deep in thought.

"HHhhmmmm" was all she said, and turned her attention back to him. As Severus looked into her eyes, he didn't have to use legilimens to see the emptiness.

"You don't have to feel like this." He frowned, his eyes looking desperate.

"Can't you just give me some time." She snapped, and he backed off. But she quickly started to cry again harder. "I'm sorry Sev."

He really didn't know what to do and decided to grab her and pull her into his chest rather than being passive. He waited for her to push away but instead she gave up and started to sob into his chest. He rubbed her back in a circular motion. _This is suppose to be comforting, right?_ He thought to himself. Being a death eater, he didn't have much practice in this field. Most of the time he was the one who was making the people cry. They stayed there for a long time, until he made them sit down. She sat on him curled up in a foetus position by the water. He held her in his arms, and for once Lily felt like she remembered how it felt to be able to breathe normally again. Everything felt safe and warm in his arms and she fell asleep. It was the first time she had fallen asleep without the use of a potion.

* * *

She woke up screaming, the same way she woke up every night, and couldn't breathe. Only, rather than Poppy rushing in with another sleeping potion, she was in a dark room.

Arms wrapped around her and Severus whispered, "SSSHHHHHHH" in her ear. Immediately she relaxed and slowly laid back down.

"It's ok." He cooed, and she felt a damp cloth being placed on her head. She didn't realize she was sweating despite being in a cold, dungeonesque room. He lulled her back to sleep.

But each night got better. She was now able to sleep a full 8 hours potion-less without waking up, and the pain didn't last as long each morning.

There was a week left before school started and they were having a picnic outside with Harry. At this point they appeared to be a couple, but since James's death she lost the desire to be intimate with anyone.

"You know I can't live here." She said between mouthful of sandwich. "I'm not a teacher."

"There are other ways you can stay." Severus answered, picking away at his own sandwich. "I'm sure Dumbledore could find a job for you, or you could stay with me."

"I don't think it works that way, not unless we were married, which isn't happening." She said quickly, not wanting to get his hopes up.

They had this conversation almost every day along with…

"You know it's simple to perform an ID test on Harry. It doesn't even require blood anymore. Just a lock of hair." Severus repeated to Lily.

She sighed, "I don't understand the big deal. What would you do if he wasn't yours? Love him less?"

Severus honestly didn't have the answer, he just knew he had to know. So one night while Lily and Harry were sleeping in his quarters as per usual, Severus stole a lock of Harry's hair.


	12. Chapter 12

You know, you are welcome to stay at the castle and work in the hospital wing." Dumbledore reminded her as she ate her last dinner in the great hall. Students would be arriving in two days.

She got a job and living space at the Hogshead tavern right inside Hogsmeade. It was a small bachelor style apartment above the bar. One open room that contained their bedroom, living room and kitchen and a quick walk to Hogwarts. Although it looked pretty empty and worn down when she first viewed it, she knew that she would be able to fill it with love. Lily could even see the lights of the castle from her window looming beyond the gates in the distance which reminded her that Severus was not far. But this also gave her the independence she needed to start life over.

"Yes, I know." She answered, "But I need this."

Aberforth, brother of Albus, offered her a job in house keeping in the tavern. Every day she would clean the rooms at the inn in exchange for free board and food. Molly offered to watch Harry, despite the fact she had a child of her own born within the same year.

"Don't worry about it love." She said, waving her hand as if it were nothing, "Harry and Ron will grow up to be best of friends. It won't be the first time I've watched two babies at once." Referring to Fred and George.

She knew it would be hard to give up Harry but it was only a few hours a day, but not seeing Severus every day would be just as hard.

That night they retired to Severus's room. Hagrid offered to keep Harry at his place for the night and gave her a wink. She rolled her eyes. Harry loved Hagrid and Hagrid loved Harry almost as if he was his father so he spent a lot of time over at his hut.

"I don't think I am going to be able to sleep tonight." She giggled as they laid in his bed together.

"Why not?" he asked concerned, misreading her words.

"Because, I don't know when I will see you again after tonight." She pouted.

"You don't have to go." Lily knew Severus was upset at her decision but he didn't understand.

"We've been over this and I'm only going to be ten minutes away." She sighed, hoping this wouldn't turn into some sort of argument again. "Can't we just enjoy our last night together?"

"Yes, yes of course." He let the subject go.

After James's death, Lily couldn't imagine being intimate with anyone. But they were talking so close which stirred up some warm, bubbly feelings that she forgot she had even possessed.

Severus was glad to see she wasn't pulling away, and dipped into the surface of her mind. Since the depression started, he often probed her mind without permission. He told himself it was for her own benefit and safety, but she never noticed. Her guard had been completely shot.

"Stay here." He spoke nearly against her lips and smirked devilishly. He left through the door of his bedroom and return with a bottle of wine in one hand and two glasses in the other. "To celebrate your last night in Hogwarts." He explained. "And the end of the war."

Lily sat up and accepted a cup of elven wine. Severus watched her as she raised the ruby liquid to her mouth, and let it pour down her throat. It took every ounce of him not to lean over and kiss the remaining liquid that was resting on her lips. Which made gave them a soft sheen in the candle light…

"Oh." She said, placing a delicate hand to her chest. The liquid warmed her innards as it went down. She forgot what it was like to drink. "That is rather good." She commented and took a larger gulp. Severus nodded and drank his own glass down quicker. On their second glass, Severus led lily to his sitting room where there was a leather couch and wooden table placed accordingly to the fireplace. Lily tried to keep up but he was a much faster drinker and always remained one or two cups ahead. Every time they finished a glass though, it would magically refill.

"I would say Professor Snape, you are trying to get me drunk." She giggled, her cheeks were turning a shade of pink from the alcohol. But it was the healthiest glow he had seen in a long time.

He scowled. Not from the drunk comment but rather, he hated the title Professor Snape. Even as a student he never considered teaching as a profession.

"I don't get why you hate it so much." She frowned. "Teaching would be such a rewarding profession."

"Yah, so is farming but that doesn't mean I want to be raising cattle or dragons."

Lily didn't know why she brought up this subject, it always made him upset although she didn't understand why. "Yah I guess." She trailed off, not wanting to talk about it more and took another drink. Despite the fact their glasses kept filling, the bottle never emptied. She could feel it going to her head though and she liked the relaxing feeling it gave her. It took away all the anxiety she usually held in her heart and reminded her that she still had confidence. Severus was starting to feel it too although he would never admit it.

"Well I think that is enough for us tonight." He grabbed the bottle by the neck to put it away.

"Hey!" she said defiantly, "Just because you had enough doesn't mean I have."

"Oh really?" he raised one eyebrow challengingly. His face possessed a belittling look she did not approve of but had been mastered over the years. A look that would haunt many students in the years to come.

"Really" she replied, not afraid of him.

"Well I can assure you that I can read you quite well Lily Evans, and you have most definitely had enough." The words rolled off of his lips in a deep British accent.

Although he didn't mind having a glass once and awhile, he absolutely hated intoxicated people which was the fault of his drunken father growing up. Not to mention, he knew that as good as it felt now, alcohol had many negative side effects in the morning, especially with depression. Something he could also vouch for.

"And I can assure you Severus Snape," she now stood up, "that I can read myself better than you can and I know my own limits." She grabbed the body of the bottle while he still head the neck. "And I don't think you know me as well as you think."

He smirked a smirk that out smirked all other smirks. This only made her more furious, but he found her even more attractive when she was mad and could never take her seriously. Something that might bite him in the arse one day.

"You think that I can't read you?" he repeated, paraphrasing her words and stood up so now he was half a foot taller then her. "You don't think that I know how you feel; that I don't understand how it feels to lose someone you love. You pretend like you still love James although it becomes harder and harder to remember him and yet there is a part of you that wonders what it would be like to be with me. But your stubbornness combined with your pride won't allow you to act on your feelings. Not to mention you are afraid. Afraid that you could possibly have an even better life than you had with Potter and that Harry could be mine and this guilt frightens you." His breathing had become ragged as he released all his thoughts and emotions he had been holding in since the day he brought her back to the castle. He waited for her for years, and when he thought he was finally over her, she came back in his life and then teased him with her seductions. And even though they could finally be together, she tried to keep her distance even more. Was she actually just using him?

Lily was in shock and her mouth hung open as he continued to talk. At the end of his tirade, she raised her hand to slap him across the face but he caught her wrist first before she could make contact. This was probably the most intimate they had been in a long time, despite the fact it was not an intimate moment. But their bodies were still very close to each other and flesh was touching flesh.

"Tell me," he continued, holding her wrist with one hand and the bottle of wine with the other, "Tell me that everything I just said was a lie. That we will never be together and that Harry is not mine." His black, sometimes soulless, eyes bore into hers.

She didn't know what to answer because she honestly didn't have an answer.

"That's what I thought." He spat and let go of her arm. Perhaps he had more to drink than he thought and turned around to put the bottle of wine away.

"So you're telling me that if we had no chance of getting together you wouldn't be my friend? That this was all some ploy to get me into bed?"

He turned around slowly, and narrowed his eyes threateningly.

"The last time I checked, you were using me for information and only sleeping with me to get information for Dumbledore. So don't go playing the victim card."

"How dare you." She hissed, her eyes brimming with tears. But for once in his life, Severus's anger outweighed his guilt. "You've just been taking advantage of my vulnerability all along. You are pleased as punch that James Potter, you arch enemy, is finally gone and now you can have me all to yourself. In case you don't remember, it was your fault that our friendship first stopped."

"Damn it Lily." He shouted and threw the bottle of wine into the hearth that made the flames grow brighter and then fade again. "In case YOU don't remember," he approached her, "there was a time you were begging me to take advantage of you." His voice was deadly and her cheeks burned a bright red in anger and shame. "But I can assure you," he got really close, "that I never _really _took advantage of you because if I did, you would have known."

Lily knew this was true but since James died, she only felt more ashamed and guilty of her actions. She cheated on her dead husband and he didn't ever know. Her face scrunched up in disgust. She had no idea what he had done as a death eater and he never told her despite the fact he got to see into her mind all the time.

"Oh so now you have a conscious?" he laughed. Sometimes he could be so cruel.

Forgetting she even had a wand, she balled her hands up into fists like she was about to punch him.

"I would like to see you try." He teased. And at first she tried to push him away but he didn't even stumble back and then she started to pound her fists into his chest. She felt like she couldn't stop and knew at this point that it wasn't even hurting him, but it was just the action that was almost comforting. She was mad at everything. Mad that James was gone. Mad that everything he said to her was right. And mad at herself. Eventually he had to restrain her though before she hurt herself and this made her even more mad and she flailed against him. She almost felt like she was being possessed.

"Let me go!" she screamed, wanting to pound him some more, although would settle for punching anything. "I said let me go!" and she tried to kick his shin but instead he tripped her and her bum landed on the coffee table and then he was laying on top of her pinning her with his whole body.

"The moment you stop squirming, the moment I'll let you go." He said between clenched teeth, trying to keep her still. He could see in his mind that she wanted to hurt something and would tucker out eventually.

"No!" she yelled, still trying to kick him off, but to no avail. "Severus Snape you are the most infuriating man in this entire world!"

"I know." He smirked, finding that rather amusing.

"Are you laughing at me?" she asked, and stopped moving.

"Perhaps." He replied.

"Arse." She muttered.

"Twat" he mutter back teasingly.

"Git." She said louder.

"Pillock" he said back.

"Oh shut up." she was running out of insults and pushed her lips against his roughly.

He didn't have to be told twice and kissed her back fiercely. Something he had been aching to do for a very long time now.

She didn't know if it was the wine or the fact she had managed to get a majority of frustration out on his chest that made her do it. Both their hands were feverishly gripped each others clothes.

"Sev." She said feeling a little nervous now as reality began to set in slowly, "I don't think I'm ready…."

"I know." He whispered and kissed her one last time on the lips before letting go.

She felt a little sad that it was over but knew that she would regret her decision later.

"Oh don't think it's over." He smirked and led her up to his bed. "Just because you don't want to go all the way doesn't mean there aren't another three bases."

And a large smile spread across her face at the prospects of that.

* * *

"I have to go." She said for the fifth time by the gates.

"Just one more." He replied, kissing her.

"I really… have to… go." She put her hand out to try to push him away. "I really want to get the apartment set up before Hagrid brings Harry over."

"I can help you." Severus stepped closer.

She chuckled, "Yah as if we would get any work done together. No, no, I am looking forward to doing this and I need to do it alone." She was telling the truth.

Severus watched Lily walk down the path away from Hogwarts. Students would be arriving the next morning.


	13. Chapter 13

School had begun and teaching was exactly how Severus imagined it: dull and frustrating. He has never repaired more cauldrons in his life and he felt like he was constantly talking uncomfortably slow just to get the instructions through the students thick skulls as they stared at him with those big eyes, glazed over either from fear or lack of intelligence. This only made him wonder if he wanted to really know who Harry belonged to as he rolled the jar of hair back and forth between his thumb and pointer finger.

The DNA potion had taken over a week to brew and he didn't want to take any chances of getting caught while Lily was in the castle. But on some days his fear outweighed his curiosity. Pacing around his office, he began to debate with himself again.

_What do I know about being a father?_

_Do I even want to be father?  
What if the snot nosed boy belonged to James?  
Clearly Lily didn't care, but could I still be with her?_

He paused his pacing for a moment and then continued.

_Of course I could be with her!  
I just wouldn't help to raise the heir of James loud-mouth Potter._

_Maybe ignorance is bliss…_

He knew that if he went through with it, he could never tell Lily.

* * *

The first night in Hogsmead was the worst. She remembered what loneliness felt like again, although felt a bit of comfort in the sounds of the other residents in the adjacent rooms. She was envious of Harry who could fall asleep anywhere completely unaware of his surroundings. She watched him as his little chest went up and down.

To pass the time she caught up on her letter writing. She sent one to Sirius promising him that she would do anything in her power to get him out of Azkaban although she wasn't entirely sure if he would ever get it. Other letters included her parents, some friends she hadn't seen since the end of the war, Remus and Severus.

Training was tedious at any job, but the job was rather simple.

"House keeping!" and then she would clean the room and leave.

Within the week she had started a routine which made her life feel a lot more manageable. It did not leave her with much time to see anyone though. She hoped Severus wasn't to upset.

* * *

Severus was furious. Although he appreciated her letters, they were not the same. He knew that as soon as she left she would move on. And he offered to come over every night but she was always tired or busy. Yanking the bit of baby hair out of the bottle, he tossed it into the cauldron and a swirl of blue smoke arose. He cut off a piece of his own hair and threw it into the cauldron. Then potion gargled and turned a deep black. He dipped a quill into it and placed it onto a piece of parchment. It magically began to scribble,

_Negative._

He stood there looking at the parchment in disbelief but just to be safe, he grabbed another bottle containing dark brown hair. This one belonged to James Potter which he snagged before the funeral. He chucked those hairs into the cauldron and it began gargle again. He dipped a different quill in and placed it on a different piece of parchment. It read,

_Positive._

He swore angrily and flipped the whole blooming cauldron over so the black tar like substance covered the surface of his desk and floor. The one thing, the one and only thing he had to tie Lily to him, and it was gone. Or so he thought.

But wait. He stopped his tantrum to think about it for a moment. She would never know. He didn't have to tell her.

_Until the baby grew up to look like the bloody replica of the dunderhead Potter._ He reminded himself.

Another owl flew in from Lily and he stared at it.

"Why should I even bother?" he muttered, surprised at how angry the results actually made him. He bunched up the letter and threw it into the waste bin, not even reading it.

* * *

Lily was so excited to have her first weekend off tomorrow and wrote about it immediately to Severus. She felt bad for neglecting him and knew that no matter how he felt, she would make it up to him. Then she could bring Harry around for everyone to see as well.

She waited all day to hear a response from Severus, but nothing came. _Odd_, she thought, but summed it up to be his busy schedule and was probably trying to get all of his marking done before this weekend so they could spend some time together.

She thought about rushing over to the castle as soon as her shift on Friday let out, but decided against it. Saturday morning she set an alarm to get up early. She wanted to make herself look extra nice for Severus, and decided to take some time to curl her hair and put on a bit of lippy. This feeling made her giddy and she looked into the mirror, happy at the results.

_Perhaps we'll have a picnic or stroll around Hogsmeade or take a walk through the forbidden forest._ She thought to herself, imagining all the possibilities. She felt like a little school girl again and this made her so excited. These five minutes of happiness washed away at least a week's worth of sadness. Harry also woke up and looked extra happy, like he knew something was going on.

She bounded down the stairs with Harry in arm and ran to the gate which Dumbledore gave permission to let her in anytime she wished. As she guessed, breakfast was over, and the students were enjoying their Saturday. Most of them stared or pointed at her as she quickly tried to get into the castle. Down, down, down, she went into the dungeons. She learned all the quickest paths to get to Severus's quarters over the summer.

_Knock, Knock, Knock_

She tapped on Severus's door, and no one answered.

_Knock, Knock, Knock_

And she waited again.

Severus sat in his office, pinching the bridge of his nose. Not only did he have the biggest headache in the world, he already had over 60 potions to mark and really just wanted to be left alone. He realised after a few minutes that whoever was at his door wasn't going to leave him alone so with a flick of his wand, he left the door fly open.

"What do you want?" he snapped, not looking up to see who it was.

"Uh, didn't you get my letter?" she answered softly.

He let his eyes wander slowly up to see her standing in his doorway, readjusting Harry on her hip.

"No I am afraid not. How can I help you?"

Lily didn't know how to respond at first. He was acting as if she was one of his students. "Well I was hoping we could go out. It's a lovely day."

"I'm sorry. I'm busy. If there is nothing else, then I would like to get back to my work." He tapped his finger on his desk impatiently.

"Oh. Alright." She nodded and walked back out. Maybe he was more pissed then she thought, but it's barely been over a fortnight since they've seen each other. And she sent letters when she could. Lily didn't even realise the change of scenery.

"Oy! Where you think yur goin?" a gruff voice sounded behind her and she spun around. "No visits for Uncle Hagrid?"

She smiled and handed Harry over. Harry loved Hagrid although he wasn't old enough to really show any appreciation. But he never cried in his arms, and he loved gripping his beard and Hagrid was the only other person who could put him to sleep. She wished Severus was more involved with Harry. Especially since he could very well be his son. And if he ever expected to be with her, they were now a packaged deal.

"Hagrid, do you think you could watch over Harry for a little while? I want to spend some time working in the hospital wing with Poppy."

Hagrid was barely paying attention while he tickled Harry's tummy with a single finger, making strange baby noises adults often did in the presence of an infant.

* * *

This became the routine for the following two Saturdays. She always assumed that teaching would be a time committing job but this was getting absurd. Although she loved working in the hospital wing and was learning a great deal about healing from Poppy.

"You know you ought to really consider a job in healing, even if it isn't here. You're so bright and you could apprentice here."

Lily thanked her but didn't know if she was ready for such a large commitment. With healing came a lot of stress and she didn't know if she could handle working in a field that involved pain and death.

By the third weekend, she managed to finally corner Severus as he was leaving his office.

"Why are you avoiding me?" she demanded. He did not look pleased.

"I'm sorry, I have no idea what you are talking about. Now I must be off." He tried to step around her, but she was quicker.

"Oh come on! You haven't replied to any of my letters and you never want to meet up. Did I do something?"

_Marry James Potter_ he thought to himself but didn't say it. Instead he sighed and stopped trying to get around her. It's better now than never.

"I don't think we should be together."

"What? Why?" she asked.

"Because." Was all he replied at first, but she put her hands on her hips. Clearly this answer wasn't good enough. "Because I don't see us working out. You have a baby and I don't like children. Not to mention I am a former death eater and we both have a lot to sort out."

"Yah, but that never stopped us before and you could learn to love Harry. I'll teach you how to hold him and how to feed him."

He scowled as if this was the most disgusting idea in the world.

"And you know that I would never judge you on your past. I still don't understand why you've changed your mind." She continued.

"I've had a lot of time to think…"

"Is it because I left? I didn't do it to hurt you, I just needed some space but that doesn't mean we couldn't ever be together. I just need some time." She pleaded with him.

"Well maybe I don't want to be with you anymore. Maybe I am tired of waiting." He snapped. She didn't know what to say and let him walk away this time. She fell to the ground and cried in her hands. Nothing felt like it would ever be the same. James was gone, Sirius was gone and now Severus.

That night she owled Remus to come over. She could talk to him.

"And that's it?" he said, as they were trying to figure it out.

She nodded, trying to hold back the tears.

"Well you know my opinion Lily. He's not worth it. He never was and never will be."

"But he's changed Remus."

"Has he?"

She wondered if Remus was right. Maybe he hadn't ever really changed? Maybe he was faking it. He was possibly the only wizard in the wizarding world that fooled Lord Voldemort. Or maybe it was Dumbledore who was the fool all along.

Although Severus tried replace Lily with thoughts of lessons, grading reading and regular Hogwarts chores, it was at night when his eyes were to tired to read anymore but his mind couldn't shut off that he thought about his decision. They had been through so much together including an entire war. But how long could he wait for her? It wasn't fair. But then again, he's waited for over 3 years. What's another?

Sitting up in bed, he punched the wall and possibly broke a few knuckles but didn't care. How could he be so stupid? If they could make it through a war and the dark lord AND the order, how could a baby be a challenge. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad… and then an idea popped into his mind. He knew what he must do.

The next evening Severus changed out of his teaching robes, into something a little nicer. He put on his nice coat and walked out through the grounds. It was getting chillier as Fall began to creep in, and the sun was setting sooner. He picked up some of Lily's favourite chocolates at Honeydukes and made his way to Hogs Head.

He entered the tavern and shook his head. _This is where it all began_, he thought to himself, _if it wasn't for that damn prophecy than none of this would have happened_. He went to approach the stairs which led up to the rooms but was suddenly stopped.

"Oh I don't think so." Aberforth shook his head. "I've already kicked you out of here once. Don't think I wouldn't do it again."

"I'm here to see to Lily Evans."

"Oh I bet you are, but that doesn't mean she wants to see you. Piss off."

"Well why don't we let her decide?"

Aberforth stared at Severus a little longer. He was the complete opposite of Albus, minus the startling eyes.

"Very well. She's in room 13. BUT! If I find out you made her upset again, I'll send the Aurors on you. Why he ever took in a death eater in the first place beats me." And he continued to mutter while he walked off. "thinks he's off the hook.."

Severus ignored him and stopped in front of her door while straightening out his robes. He took a deep breathe in and then let it out. Raising his hand slowly, he knocked on the door three times. There was some shuffling and then she peeked through the crack.

"What do you want?" she snipped.


	14. Chapter 14

"I was a fool Lily, and now I can see that."

Lily was enjoying Severus's uncomfortableness. Death eaters never really apologized for anything.

"MMhhhmmm, and?"

"And I didn't mean anything I said."

"And?"

"And … I'm sorry." He exhaled.

"Sorry, I didn't hear that." Lily smirked.

"I'm sorry." He said louder.

"Well, thank you." She replied, glad he was back, but not completely satisfied. "But I still have no idea what happened." She had so many questions.

"I just panicked. I was afraid that we would never get together and that everything was in vain."

She frowned. A part of her wanted to tell him that technically she was his, but she was still not ready to make it official. Even though she and James were only married for no more than a year, they had been together for years prior. Just as long as she and Severus had been friends. And then there was Harry.

"So did you think I was using you?" she crossed her arms over her chest not impressed.

He didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell her about the Paternity Potion but he shouldn't lie either.

"No." He shook his head and took both of her hands in his. "But I was just worried that we were growing apart as oppose to closer together."

At first she was tempted to pull her hands out of his, but waited. She could understand how he would feel that. She chose to move away, and not accept the job at Hogwarts.

"I'm sorry I gave you that impression." She never assumed he was the insecure type. But given his past, it did make sense. "You do understand though that me and Harry are a package deal now, right?"

They both looked over at baby Harry who was sleeping and then back into each others eyes. She was serious.

"I know" he sighed, although he didn't want to admit it yet. "But I have had a lot of time to think and I believe we are going about this all wrong."

She looked confused.

"I'm not sure I will be able to explain this correctly but we went from friends to nothing to friends again to lovers and skipped all the bits in between."

"Alright…" she said, still trying to understand.

He sighed, and tried again. Standing up, he pulled out the box of chocolates he bought from Honey Dukes. "Will you Lily Evans go on a date with me?"

He never really asked out a girl before and wasn't really sure of the proper way to go about it.

"A date?"

"Yes, a date. Perhaps we could go out for dinner, in public, somewhere nice." He had never sounded so stupid to himself before. Where did his vocabulary go?

"Alright." She said, sounding a little excited. And then tried to look serious again. She still hadn't completely forgiven him but he was trying. "Where do you want to go?"

"You leave that to me. I'll come around tomorrow at 7?"

"Is that a question?" she thought this was completely awkward and was trying to hold back a laugh.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. This was not going how he planned. "Let's try this again." He snatched back the box of chocolates and left the apartment. Lily caught on quickly and he knocked on the door.

"Why hello Severus. Long time no see. Please come in." she giggled.

"Thank you." He nodded his head and entered. "These are for you my dear." He handed her the box of chocolates… again.

"Thank you." She took them back again and waited.

He took one of her hands and kissed her fingers. Lily always thought this an odd gesture and scrunched up her nose but he ignored it.

"You look ravishing. Would you be free tomorrow to accompany me for dinner?"

"Yes, I am sure I could make room in my busy schedule." She played along.

"Excellent. I will pick you up at 7." He winked and gave her another kiss on the hand, this time slower while staring her in the eyes and then left. Lily felt almost breathless.

Lily didn't think it was possible for anyone to stick out in public the way Severus Snape stuck out in Madame Puddifoot's Tea Shop. Maybe it was the way his black robes made the pink of the entire room look brighter, or his sour expression clashing with the overall cheerfulness.

"Have you never been here before?" Lily leaned in over the table to Severus and whispered.

"No." he grumbled while he continued to look around the place. He didn't know that such a tacky place existed. The only reason he took Lily here was from the recommendations of the other professors at Hogwarts. He bet they were having a howl now, imagining him in such a place, but he was just thankful that it wasn't a Hogsmeade weekend. The only thing that could of made this moment worse would be sitting between two teenage couples that were madly in love.

"We don't have to stay." She suggested, looking a bit worried.

"No, no, we're here now, it's fine. Maybe the tea will be better than the interior design." But as he said this, their tea arrived and it was pink. Pink! He groaned, hoping that it wouldn't taste the same way it looked.

Lily drank it first, it tasted good. She thought the tea room was cute but was even more impressed that Severus intended to stay. Maybe they would skip dinner and go straight to dessert.

"I think that's a good idea." Severus was stirring his tea continuously, hoping that perhaps the pink would fade.

"Hey!" she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Sorry." He replied quickly. "It's a habit."

"Yah, I know." Although Lily didn't entirely mind because he knew what she always wanted and she could feel when he was going beyond the surface now. And there was many uses for it… for instance, sometimes she would picture herself naked just to see if he was checking and then she would imagine…

"Please stop that." He loosened the top button of his blouse and she smirked while taking another sip of tea.

The date went well. She ordered a piece of chocolate cake, while he watched her eat the chocolate cake.

"You know, you should really try some." She said, mouth half full but Severus did not like sweet things, not even chocolate cake.

He escorted her back home which was only a few blocks away down hill. But it was not easy to walk on cobblestones with heals, so he wrapped one arm around her waist to keep her from falling. The sun was down and the only thing lighting their path was the street lamps filled with pixies hired by the ministry.

"So since this is our first date, does that mean I can't invite you back in?" she teased.

"Well that is completely up to you." He looked at her through his peripheral.

"Halt!" a female voice rang out, and witches and wizards wearing auror badges began to swarm them in the street. Severus's grip around Lily's waist tightened. The voice belonged to Minister Millicent Bagnold, the new minister of magic.

"She's the one who falsely accused Sirius." Lily whispered to Severus.

There was at least 25 aurors surrounding the street now, all with their wands raised in their direction. There was no escape.

"The ministry of magic hereby finds you, Severus Snape, guilty of murder, treason and the practice of illegal dark arts including all three unforgiveable curses used both on magical and non-magical personale. Anything you say may be used against you from this point forth, and we ask you to surrender your wand or else we will be required to use force."

One of the aurors stepped forth and held out his hand, the other hand still raising his wand.

Severus pulled it out of his pocket and dropped it in the wizard's hand.

The minister almost looked surprised that it was so simple and then continued to recite her speech which she probably knew by heart now.

"We will accompany you to Azkaban where you will remain imprisoned until your court date."

Lily was shaken by the whole affair, not Azkaban! She just assumed they already cleared him of all charges since he was working for Dumbledore.

Severus let his hand drop from Lily's waist which he found more difficult then handing over his wand, and two aurors bound his hands in magical cuffs behind his back.

"But he's innocent." She pleaded, finding her voice but they ignored her.

"Mr. Underhill, would you please escort Mrs. Potter back to her home."

"No!" she didn't know what got into her, but she couldn't let him go. She felt like she was losing the second person she had fallen in love with over her lifetime and gripped onto his arm.

The Minister didn't know what to do at first but tried to calm the situation.

"I promise you Mrs. Potter that you will have the opportunity to attend his hearing. I understand this war has been tough on you and we all respect your contributions." All the other aurors nodded, and slowly moved in on her. "But you have to let him go."

"You bloody well should!" she yelled at them. "I mean I only managed to kill Lord Voldemort." Everyone still winced at the name, but didn't say anything. She looked up at Severus who stared back down at her.

"Everything will be alright." He whispered, hoping she would understand and would let go. Her eyes were boring into hers and he wished he could express to her how much it hurt him to let her go too. Lily's grip slowly loosened and then the next thing she knew, Severus was being escorted by eight aurors back to the ministry.

Lily's heart beat began to increase and she felt like she was going to be sick. People were backing up to give her space, but her vision began to narrow and she couldn't remember how to breathe.

"Is she alright?" one of the aurors whispered to another.

But then her vision narrowed and went black and she woke up. The cold cobblestone pressed against her cheek and it almost felt nice.

"Lily. We are taking you back to Hogwarts. Harry is there." She nodded, a pain beginning to throb through her head. She must of hit it on the way down. They lifted her body magically onto a stretcher. All she could hear was Dumbledore yelling at the rest of them while she was escorted back to the castle. The wrath of Dumbledore was frightening.

* * *

Lily sat in one of the pews amongst other witnesses including whatever was left of the Order, a few professors from Hogwarts and some witches and wizards that she didn't recognized. Severus Snape stood in the middle of the room still shackled at the wrists and ankles as if he were already sentenced to a lifetime in Azkaban. Albus Dumbledore stood next to him in the centre of the circular room, staring up at the council as they read off his crimes. Severus refused to tell Lily his past, but perhaps this wasn't the best way for her to find out and quickly regretted that decision.

"You, Severus Snape are being charged for the use of the killing curse on…" and then the judge rattled off about a dozen names. Severus stood their blank faced although Lily could tell he was suffering. He had only been in Azkaban for two days yet he hard dark circles under his eyes and looked even more pale (which some would of doubted possible). It wasn't so much the Azkaban bit that was making Severus suffer though. It was the fact that Lily would probably now realize he was actually a cold-hearted murderer.

"For the use of the Crucio curse on…." And even more names were rattled off. Some Lily recognised, a lot of them she did not.

"And the use of the Imperius on two ministry employees." Severus was sure there was more, but that's all they had proof of.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" They waited for his defence but instead Dumbledore spoke.

"I, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, will be representing Professor Severus Snape." The council members looked between each other but didn't say anything.

"Professor Severus Snape was working under my direction for The Order as a double agent and gathering information from Lord Voldemort. Although to make this believable, he was forced to become a death eater and all his actions were for the greater good." Albus got straight to the point.

"Do you have any witnesses Professor Dumbledore?" the judge asked, her gavel sitting next to her on the pedestal.

Five order members, including Lily and Remus both stood up and vouched for Severus Snape. The judge leaned back in her chair, clearly thinking this over.

"Do you Mr. Snape…"

"Professor." Dumbledore corrected, wanting to drill the point home that Dumbledore trusted him enough to even give him a position at Hogwarts.

"My apologies, Professor Snape, do you agree with this?" she continued.

Severus nodded yes.

"Very well. Is there anything else?"

"I would like to call Lily Potter to the stand." Dumbledore's voice rang out. Lily obliged but did not know what to expect.


	15. Chapter 15

"Could you please describe the night Lord Voldemort entered your home." Dumbledore requested. Everyone leaned in a little closer, highly interested in what Lily had to say.

"Um.. alright." She said, feeling extremely nervous now. "Well I was putting Harry to sleep when someone knocked at the door which was very strange since no one knew where we were with the exception of Peter and well Dumbledore." She murmured, replying to Dumbledore's question. "And then when I looked out the window, I realised who it was by the giant snake, and before I could warn James, my husband, the door was knocked down and he was killed. So I tried to fortify the door to Harry's room but it was useless. Then when I wouldn't move out of the way of the crib, everything went green then black and I woke up in Hogwarts." She summed it up, not really sure where this was going.

"Right. But before this. Before Voldemort arrived, was there anything out of the ordinary?"

Lily had to think about it. She could remember the incident clearly, but what happened earlier in the day…

"Oh!" she exclaimed, "Yes. I received a letter from you with a necklace and a potion. I was suppose to drink it in case of danger but not give any to Harry. Although… I never did get to drink it…" now that she thought about it.

"Precisely." Dumbledore announced. Although no one else was following at this point. "I had sent Lily a protective potion. An antidote against dark magic which was brewed and invented by none other than Professor Severus Snape, potion master of Hogwarts."

Everyone's attention turned to Severus, including Lily's who was in shock.

_He sent the potion! _She thought to herself.

"And do you have proof of this?" the judge continued, addressing all three of them.

Dumbledore pulled out the notes Severus had worked on while creating the potion for Lily. They were looked over carefully.

"It says here on the bottom that it would most likely not be effective against the killing curse." The judge looked up from the papers.

"The potion had never been tested." It was the first time Severus spoke through out the whole trial. "Which is why I advised it not to be used on infants but I also knew that there was nothing in it that would hurt Lily either." He explained.

"But she said she never drank it." The judge referred to Lily.

"Correct." Dumbledore spoke this time cutting off Severus Snape. "But the vile was placed on a necklace which was found around her neck at the scene of the crime. The vile was also broken which meant that the curse must of hit the bottle that would have caused the potion to spill out."

"So does this mean you are trying to tell me that it may have been Severus Snape that killed he-who-must-not-be-named?"

Dumbledore didn't completely agree with this theory. He didn't think that the potion was able to protect against the killing curse but it had to do with an even stronger force, but for the sake of this trial, he did not argue.

"Possibly." He replied, and technically this was true because until they did some testing, they would never actually really know.

"So you are saying that Professor Severus Snape may have found a cure for the killing curse?"

"Possibly." Dumbledore replied again, letting everyone come to their own conclusions.

The judge sat back in her chair and wrung her fingers through her hair, this was a lot to take in.

"Is there anything else I should know?" she asked.

"That is all." Dumbledore answered.

"Very well. This has given us a lot to think about so we shall reconvene in an hour." And she banged the gavel on the pedestal and stood up. All the council filed out together to come up with their decision.

Although Lily was happy to be close to Severus again, it was still a very long hour to wait. But time passed as it always does and everyone entered again and sat in their corresponding spots.

"After great thought." The judge's voice rang out. Lily felt like her heart sunk into her stomach and tried to remain calm while they read out the verdict. "We find Severus Snape…. Innocent." Almost everyone let out of a breathe of relief and Lily gave Severus a big hug. "But!" the judge cut off their celebrations, "Severus Snape must remain under house arrest for one year and will be required to report to a mental health healer once a month." This was a very common sentence. Being a death eater left many mental scars and they wanted to make sure he wasn't crazy or a danger to himself or society. Severus did not look impressed by it, but he was glad not to be going back to Azkaban. The judge sounded her gavel again, and the trial was over.

* * *

Because Severus worked at Hogwarts, according to the teaching contract, it acted as his home, so he was not able to leave Hogwarts property. Which he preferred anyways because it was a lot more spacious then his own house at Spinner's End which would of felt more like a jail. But this also meant that he could no longer visit Lily in Hogsmeade.

Since their first date, Lily had discovered a lot about herself. She learned that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Severus Snape and after almost losing him again, she had no fear of further commitment.

"You know you don't have to do this." Severus repeated, while he helped carry her luggage. It had been two weeks since the trial.

"Yah I know." She replied with a big smile plastered on her face. "But I want to."

Lily decided to accept the internship with Madame Pomfrey in the hospital wing, and moved into Hogwarts which allowed her to be much closer to Severus Snape.

"Alright." He smiled softly. Something that was very rare for him. "So does this mean we are going steady?" he teased.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, it means we are going steady."

"Good." And he dropped the luggage in the middle of the courtyard and grabbed her by the waist and pulled her in for a kiss in front of everyone.

* * *

"So it looks like you and Snape are happy together." Remus said Snape a little more sharper than the rest of the sentence and kicked some leaves that had fallen off the trees from the forbidden forest. It was fall now, and they were taking a stroll along a forest path away from the students.

"Yup." She said, pretending like she didn't hear the infliction in his voice.

He sighed loudly.

"What?" she asked, getting a little annoyed by his attitude. She knew that James was one of his best friends, but just because he wasn't here anymore didn't mean she could never be with someone else. "If this is about James…" she started.

"No, no, it's not that." He cut her off. "I knew eventually you would move on. It just…. It just bothers me that an ex death eater could be found innocent while Sirius still rots in Azkaban."

Lily stopped walking and frowned. She too felt bad for Sirius. She grabbed both of Remus Lupin's hands and made him look at her. "One day he will be free. Once we find evidence that he did not kill Peter Pettrigrew."

"But that's what I mean." He said angrily. "Both Snape and Malfoy killed loads of people and they are both snuggled up at home." He scowled.

"Although I can't vouch for Malfoy, I know snuggled wouldn't be the best term to use for Sev." Remus opened his mouth to protest but Lily continued, "But I understand what you mean." Remus shut his mouth again. "It's just because they think Peter Pettrigrew was an innocent bystander and we have no way of proving otherwise. None of us knew he even had contact with Voldemort. I'm sure Dumbledore will find some sort of evidence soon."

"Yah I guess…" Remus said, knowing there wasn't anything else to say about the subject and they continued walking.

"If anyone can save Sirius, it's Dumbledore."

* * *

"You ready for bed?" Severus folded his book down on his lap and looked up at Lily who was getting ready for bed. She took a minute to answer, taking in the moment. _He's so handsome_, she thought to herself as he sat on his favourite chair by the fireplace of their room, with his book and cup of tea.

"Yah nearly." She finally answered and was about to get herself a glass of water.

"Well I can think of other things we could do if you aren't tired yet." He raised one eyebrow.

"Again? Don't you ever get bored of it." She joked.

"Never." He growled and before she could protest he scooped her up in his arms and carried her over to their bed.

* * *

Some days the house arrest drove Severus mad, watching people coming and going as they pleased. Although for the most part, he was content, finally being able to love Lily the way he always wanted to. The year hadn't been completely easy though. The years of being a death eater and the few days he spent in Azkaban had created a few scars. It took him awhile to learn how to sleep properly again and not pull out his wand on anyone that caught him off guard. He refused to open up to the mental health witch that visited Hogwarts once a month, but Dumbledore predicted this and began to teach Severus himself how to overcome his past.

Through these lessons Severus gained much respect for Dumbledore, even more so then he ever thought possible. And in some time, he learned to open up to Lily and share some of his private thoughts with her, although he still had a long way to go.

Lily was content with life. She had finally found peace in such a chaotic reality. At Hogwarts she was constantly surrounded by loved ones and her new job was very satisfying. She got to heal people while in the mean time learned to heal herself. She was also extremely happy with Severus and never once regretted her decision to be with him.

So they continued to live happily ever after.


	16. Epilogue

Severus waited outside the door with his arms crossed and his foot tapping on the floor.

Lily eventually opened the door and smiled.

"Wweellll?" he said.

"It's blue." She answered, nearly bouncing up and down.

"Blue?" he repeated back in shock.

"We're going to have a boy!" she squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck to give him a big kiss on the lips.


End file.
